When we want to win....

But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels, and the bondservant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance, leading to the knowledge of the truth 2 Timothy 2:23-25

I have started this post at least ten times. But each time, I can’t seem to quite get it right. I don’t know - maybe I chicken out, fearing rejection or being misunderstodd. Today, I am going to get these thoughts down and pray that the Lord speaks instead of me…

Let me begin by saying I love to win. I am not one of those “it doesn’t matter if you win or lose, just have fun playing” kind of people. Nope. I like to WIN. Whether it’s an argument or a board game or a ball game (well, my TEAM - I don’t play anything :) ), I like to win.

And while I am uncomfortably sure that my pride is involved in liking to win (at least the arguments, anyway), it is important to acknowledge that I want to be on the side of RIGHT. Not merely BEING right but being on the side of right. More than a few times, I have changed by position after study and contemplation when I became convinced that I was initially on the wrong side.

So let’s begin with understanding that I am by no means a “peace at all costs” or “avoid confrontation” kind of gal. Not at all. Remember - I like to win!

That said….I want to talk about us Christians and our arguments. Or “stands” or “convictions” or maybe you have another term for when we take issue with another viewpoint and attack. We’ve all seen different issues play out on social media and maybe even in person. And often, we jump right in, on one side or the other, in an attempt to prove we are right…to win. So many times, I want to react to posts or comments and share “my two cents’worth” but the verse from 2 Timothy often restrains me.

I have seen alot of attacks and arguments. But I have lately seen alot of humble and gentle correction. And I just want to applaud those who are standing for truth - not so much in an effort to “win” but it seems instead a desire to lead those who are in opposition TO TRUTH….to Christ. How I pray that we all can see that our desire to argue or attack is an indication of pride. Respectful, gentle debate in pursuit of truth should rather be our goal. But may we do so NOT out of a desire to please MAN but rather to honor GOD. The fear of man leads to a snare…but whoever trusts in the Lord will be safe (Proverbs 29:25.

And ultimately, what we want is for others to see that JESUS is right…not us.

Snakebites

This post originally appeared on March 8, 2014. 

She sat at my kitchen table, tears pooling in her big brown eyes, and then silently slipping into the Diet Coke she was trying to choke down.  Her heart was broken. I cried with her. 

Her story felt unique to her, but sadly, I knew it wasn't.  The refrain of "I can't believe this happened to me.  I know better" has been sung too many times before. Ignoring the signs that warn "danger".  Climbing over the rails put there to protect. Lingering long in the dwelling place of snakes can eventually lead to snakebite.

I live in a college town and I've watched this scene way more times than I'd like to say.  Sweet kid leaves home.  Seems to "have it all together".  But underneath that smiling exterior is a heart that leaps at this chance to "be free".  A heart that sees the restrictions and rules as unnecessary for the wanna-be adult inside. A heart that disbelieves that the warning signs and guardrails are protective but rather a barrier to fun.

So the migration begins.  Little things, at first.  Things that seem to be "personal preference", nothing that seems consequential.  Choice of friends.  Of places to be.  Appearance.  Activities.  It feels so fun and feels far from harmful.

Then stuff happens.  Things never planned or desired.  Things that cannot be undone.  And often, there comes a scene at somebody's kitchen table, in tears and disbelief.

Things can be repaired, though.  And I told her that.  We talked about new beginnings and forgiveness and restoration.  To address her amazement that "this" had happened to her, I gently pointed out that if you poke around a lot in the habitat of snakes, you're probably gonna get bitten.

If you've gotten bitten, I want you to know with all my heart that there is a chance to begin again.  There is grace enough to cover all mistakes of every kind.  And there can be beauty from ashes, mourning can be turned into joy.  It's gonna take some work and some time but I've seen it happen.  I know that it can happen for you.

But please listen to this next line:
If you're not yet bitten but you are frequenting places where snakebites happen, I beg you to pull away.  Guardrails are there for protection, not to prevent fun.  What you look at, listen to, and long for matters.  Who you have fun with matters.  It all matters.  And if you disregard the guardrails and the signs of warning and remain in the territory of snakebites.....

Whether you're in college or long past it.


After she left my table, I spilled tears into my own Diet Coke.  For her.  Not so much for what's happened but mostly because she didn't seem convinced that the guardrails are necessary.  I fear she won't stay away from the terrain of the snakes.  First bites are bad enough but it's really really really hard to recover from subsequent ones.

This post originally appeared on March 8, 2014.  It bears repeating.