There are times in life when the sun shines brightly. Times when all is right with all you love. Times when you feel like you are winning. Those are such great times! I love them! But they don’t last , There are those other times….
Read moreSometimes you just need a nap...
Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.” Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God. I Kings 19:1-8
Sometimes after the highs of our lives (wonderful blessings or even great spiritual victories as was the case with Elijah), we experience quite undesirable lows. How gracious of our God to include in His Holy Word this story of Elijah’s journey from depression back to joy! Tucked into the books of I Kings is a prescription that we can use in our fight for joy. Let’s see what is included in this passage…
Here’s the background – Elijah, prophet of God, was witness and catalyst to a mighty display of God’s glory. He invited the prophets of the false god Baal to a showdown between their god and the One True God. I hope that in Eternity, God will pull back the curtain of time to let us witness this amazing event where God shows those misguided people Who He is! Talk about a blaze of Glory! (For the details, check out I Kings 18)
In spite of this great victory, Elijah is human. And that means he is susceptible to doubt and fear. He falls prey to the temptation to fear what man could do to him (or in this case, a woman!) and he subsequently doubts God’s care for him. In this state, he runs away from the problem, hides out, and prefers death to living this way. God shows such tender mercy to him! Instead of telling him to straighten up and face things like a man, God is so gentle, so kind, so compassionate. Look up Psalm 103:13,14 for a reminder of how God sees us.
This passage above has a message for us about our own tendency to dip into depression. First, don’t be taken off guard. Know that we are all vulnerable in this way and be intentional about resting in Him always, especially in the aftermath of those “mountaintop experiences”.
But if you find yourself in the valley, take a page out of Elijah’s story. Take care of your body. Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is to take a nap! We are physical beings, not just spiritual ones! And when our bodies are exhausted or ill, that can definitely take a toll on our spirit. Take a nap. Eat healthy. Go for a walk. Get a physical. Maybe there is a physiological cure to your spiritual woes!
From an older woman...
3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled Titus 2:3-5
I am officially an older woman.
And I take this exhortation seriously.
So I want to share my heart on how I see these principles applied in the lives of women today...
First, for us older women:
1. Reverent behavior - While there can undoubtedly be some variations in how "reverent behavior" manifests itself in different women, there is no doubt that reverence will be displayed as dignity,self-control, and respect. Action and attitudes that are obnoxious, narcissistic, or demanding are not appropriate (for anyone but especially not one who should bear the grace of maturity)
2. Not slanderers - Slander: malicious injury to the reputation of another. There are lots of ways to accomplish that. Outright false stories or subtle insinuations...all intended to tear down another person. Isn't it interesting that Scripture prohibits "slander" with the same weight as that against "slave to much wine"? Sadly, much damage has been done to The Church, The Body, and the cause of Christ as a result of unwise tongues. And, let's be honest, girls, most of the time, the slanderous talking has come from our gender.
3. Not enslaved to much wine - pretty straightforward.
4. Teaching what is good. And then those good instructions that are to be transmitted to the younger generations are explained...
Younger women:
1. Love husband, love children. I personally found it not merely encouraging but actually a huge relief that this trait is to be taught, ie it doesn't come naturally! But it can be learned. Hallelujah! So I am not an abject failure if there are times I feel like I'm struggling in practicing love towards the folks I actually love the most!
2. Self-controlled - in our words and our ways. Just because we feel it doesn't mean we have to say it. And just because we think it doesn't mean we have to do it. Self-control. A multitude of problems - for ourselves and our families and everyone around us - can be avoided if we women would practice self-control.
3 Pure - unpolluted, free from impurities. In our dress, our speech, and our mannerisms. What we look at, listen to, where we go, and what we do. Not vulgarity. Nor coarseness. Nor indecencies. Purity.
4. Working at home - I don't think this prohibits women from having a paying job outside the home but with all my heart I do believe that Scripture clearly lays out for us married women that home is the #1 priority. Taking care of our home (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) takes precedence over work, recreation, other relationships and even ministry. I feel this so strongly that I cannot overstate it. If we women are so busy pursuing friendships, fun, or even faith-based activities that we neglect our homes, then we are failures.
5. Kind - wow. Of all the Christlike adjectives that Scripture could've used, "kind" is the word of choice. That's powerful. Kindness is powerful. It's the kindness of God that leads men to repentance. If a woman wants to wield some power, this trait is the most effective weapon. Kindness. Not assertiveness. Not argumentation. Not manipulation. Kindness.
6. Submissive to their husbands - I know that word rattles some cages but I think it's because we don't know what it means. It's a term that means "to place in an orderly fashion" . Scripture doesn't tell husbands that they are to require submission - instead, we wives are told to subject ourselves. Big difference. Submission doesn't mean unilateral rule at all. It means I voluntarily arrange my priorities around my husband. I employ my gifts and talents to complement his and together we form a united team. I lay down my life to serve Christ by serving my family - that's submission. And that brings joy.
Make no mistake about it - the powers and principalities of this world have launched an all-out assault on this type of woman. From all points, we are lured into mirages that deceptively promise happiness and fulfillment and satisfaction. We are brainwashed to think that such things are our "right". But these don't deliver what they promise. And when we follow them, we become discouraged. And exhausted. And disillusioned.
And God's Word is misunderstood and disparaged by those who observe our lives.
But
when we wives and Mommies find our joy in loving our families well, when our energy and talents are prioritized into making our homes a place of refuge and happiness and security, when our lives are characterized by moral purity, integrity, and kindness....well, then the Word of God will be read accurately in living color by everyone we meet.
How often we forget....
and the disciples said to Him, “Where would we get so many loaves in a desolate place to satisfy such a great multitude?” Matthew 15:33
Seeing this verse out of context,I am likely to assume it is the much loved and familiar story of the little boy who offers Jesus his lunch. Out of a mere five rolls and two small fish, Jesus feeds well over 5000 people. But that miracle is recorded a chapters earlier, in Matthew 14:13-21. This particular verse comes later. Jesus has been teaching and healing multitudes of people . The disciples have been on the front row as miracle after miracle have occurred.
Surely we can expect their faith to be strong. Surely, when Jesus says “I have compassion for the multitude, because they have remained with me now three days and have nothing to eat and I do not wish to send them away hungry lest they faint on the way” (Matthew 15:32), these witnesses would answer with resolute conviction “Lord, we know you will take care of everything; just tell us what you want us to do!”
Surely.
Not.
In spite of all they had seen Jesus do, over the past several days, those closest to Him responded with doubt and uncertainty.
Wow. They couldn’t even remember what He had just done in a strikingly similar situation.
Wow. How fragile their faith. How feeble their memory…how disappointingly familiar.
Even though you and I have 66 books that testify to the faithfulness of God, even though we have personally experienced His grace and generosity, we act just like those forgetful disciples, don’t we? How many times have we faced an impossible situation and wrung our hands in anxiety and fear? How many times have we slipped into despair because we couldn’t figure a way out of the conundrum we found ourselves in? How many times have we forgotten Whose we are and what He can do?
Just like those disciples.
If I were Jesus, I’d have been ticked off. At least exasperated. Wouldn’t you? I mean, seriously, not only had His divine power been on display right in front of them for days on end, but also His unparalleled compassion! How could they not “get it”?
How do we not “get it”?
I am so thankful God included this story in His Word. It brings me much encouragement that the disciples were forgetful. That they could know Jesus personally, watch Him function up close and personal, and still not respond in faith.
And the most encouraging, most comforting part is Jesus’s response. He doesn’t get ticked off. Doesn’t even sound exasperated.
He says “How many loaves do you have?” And then proceeds not to admonish them, but instead to bless them with yet another miracle. (vs. 34-39)
Wow.
What a merciful, compassionate, gracious God we serve!
Lord, help us to remember Who You are! Forgive our lack of faith. Help us to call to mind Your faithfulness, Your power, and especially Your love for us. Amen.
Criticism
I was blessed to grow up in a home where criticism was not part of our vernacular. We simply did not criticize. Or complain. Not even when it was "merited". How my parents achieved that, I do not know!
I became a quick learner, though, let me assure you. On my own, I managed to master the art, even falling prey to the idea that criticism was "helpful" to others. How would they ever change their ways, I reasoned, unless I told them where they were wrong? This "skill" grows exponentially when practiced even a bit, I soon learned. The more I criticized, the more things I saw that "needed" criticizing. Once put into motion, criticism can quickly become a way of life, a lens through which all persons and activities are filtered.
A lens which turns toxic. Towards those on the receiving end. But also on the viewer. A critical spirit is difficult to live with as well as to house inside one's own soul.
One day I stumbled on a verse. James 4:11. Pretty simple. It says Do not speak against another.
We can try and "adjust" it to say something else but it translates very clearly -- do not criticize. The verse doesn't have parentheses to include exceptions for poor service or irritating people or trampled rights. It just says not to criticize. I decided I needed to change. It's hard going sometimes but by God's grace, I am learning not to criticize. It's hard to balance times of needed parental correction against criticism. I am constantly in need of wisdom.
Sometimes these blog posts are hard to write. I often falter. I don't get it right. A lot. But I want to share my journey with you. In hopes that you will find some grace and encouragement alongside me.
Take, for instance, today.
I received some really awful customer service today. And with my past corporate background, I am tuned in to know that customer service is an important aspect of training and expectations. When I don't get it, I am disappointed. Today, I was disappointed and then some. After all, I had been a loyal customer of this business for many years. I had given this place a bunch of money. And I was treated poorly by an employee that clearly didn't give a rip. I was tempted to post something on FB just to vent. So that other people could take my side, weigh in, maybe even share their own lousy experiences at this place. Then I decided I'd do the more mature thing and complain to the home office. In fact, I concluded, it was the right thing to do. After all, this place had their website posted and invited customers to contact them so they could provide better service. Yep, I would be doing them a favor.
I pulled up their site, clicked on "customer service" and started my email. I would be polite, but firm. Just state the facts. And convey the error of their ways. My words poured out.
Then that verse above came to mind. And one in the next chapter of James - vs. 9 Do not complain, brethren, against one another.
I chatted with myself for a couple of minutes. Wouldn't it be helpful to let the higher ups know what a terrible experience I had today? I had already realized it wouldn't be right to vent on FB, where readers were neither part of the problem nor part of the solution but couldn't I at least complain to, I mean, share with, the home office? This would be helpful..........I was justified......It's the truth......
Heart check. What did I want as resolution? Did I really want this to help those employees to become better people? Or did I hope, even just a little bit, that somebody would get in hot water for what they did? Did I even hope that I would benefit in some way, a discount or freebie or even just an accolade?
I am not saying there is never a time to report bad service. Or to share an unfortunate experience. I do suggest a heart check first. And a prayer for wisdom. And a longing to err on the side of being TOO UNcritical and UNcomplaining.
I didn't send the email.
And I won't tell you who the company was. :)