Raising kids who are strong

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9


As a parent, this is surely one of my most loved verses. I want my children (and myself!) to be bold, confident, resilient, brave. And I know that God wants that, too. He spoke this directive to Joshua as he prepared to take over command of the Israelites from Moses. Moses earlier had exhorted the people with these same words, repeated them to Joshua, and then the Lord Himself said it twice in 9 short verses. I think we are supposed to heed this - be strong and have courage.


I cling to this verse in parenting on at least two levels - one, to address my own fears and inadequacies (of which there are many!) and two, to encourage my children to be strong. Not strength as the world offers (which is usually false bravado and an attempt to mask insecurities). Not a foolhardy ignorance of danger or reality. But strong in the Lord. Mighty in spirit. Not afraid. Not fragile. Able to withstand difficulties and persecution and disappointment. And to withstand it well.


What does it mean to be strong, to be mighty in spirit? And how can we develop this in our children? And in ourselves! Let's unpack that verse and see...First, the context. The Israelites are about to begin the conquest of Canaan, the land God had promised to them. They had been redeemed from the slavery of Egypt and were on the brink of possessing the blessing of the rest of that redemption. But it was obviously not going to be a walk in the park. There were geographical challenges (large bodies of water to cross and a desert to endure) not to mention the fact that the land was already occupied and possessing it would require displacing those who were there.


Plenty of reason for fear for sure


Yet God repeatedly instructs them not to. How is that possible? Were they (and are we) just supposed to deny reality, stuff down our feelings and march stoically off into the unknown?


Not at all.


The keys to a life of courage, of living without fear or discouragement or dismay, are found right there in the text. Let's see what they are...


The first keys I see that God provided for the Israelites are the same ones He makes available to His people today. Sandwiched in between His two commands not to fear...verses 7 & 8, we see


being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success[a] wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success


1. Obedience to His commands
2. Consistent meditation on His Word


So, if we want to be strong and courageous, if we want to grow kids that are mighty in spirit, we must know that the foundation to those qualities is to obey what He says to do and to feast ourselves continually on His Word.


And the other keys I see to "fearing not" are found in the definitions of those Hebrew words - "be strong" and "courage". The word that we translate as "strong" is a word that the Hebrews used frequently for construction, for building. Its meaning is deeper than "strong" - it carries with it the idea of being attached firmly to something, to be held fast, preserved. Hmmm, sounds like God is explaining to us here that our strength comes from holding fast to Him, being bound tightly to His Word. Oh yes!
And the word for courage is equally as rich. It means more than just being brave - it conveys the idea of wisdom and virtue and excellence. SO, "courage" is more than an attitude - it is also action of righteousness!


As I have prayed for my kids through the years to be mighty in Spirit, God has consistently laid out practical ways to cultivate this attribute. Encourage obedience to HIM, not merely to parents. (That is the basis of obeying all authority!) Memorize and meditate on His Word. Talk about His Word all through the day....all through our lives. Exhort one another to hold fast to His truth, particularly in dark times, when the light is hard to see. And sow seeds of righteousness. Over and over and over. Do the right thing. Do the kind thing, the faithful thing, the generous thing, the gracious thing, the joyful thing, the loving thing, the forgiving thing. Over and over and over.


There are plenty of things in life to be afraid of. Plenty of things that seem to threaten our security and our well-being. But God wants His kids to face them all with confidence and courage.

And He provides the keys for us to do so.


Will we take Him at His Word?

To the Unsung Heroes

Seems like everywhere I turn lately I've noticed some of "the unsung heroes". Folks that serve us all without fanfare or even notice.  Folks that we might even take for granted.  Unless they quit.  Folks that I've never heard complain but I wonder if they ever feel unappreciated. 


Here's some of the folks that caught my attention.....


  One day it was some church nursery workers that have been cheerfully singing lullabies to generations of babies.  I'm sure some Mommies thank them when they retrieve their little cherubs but mostly this is an inconspicuous labor of love. 


One day it was the guys that collect my garbage early every Tuesday morning.  Occasionally I'm out at the end of my driveway when they come, sometimes with a treat but often not.  And I've never overheard any complaining about their role - usually some friendly laughter and always a polite greeting.  I hope lots of people tell them "thank you".


Another day it was an Army wife with a toddler.  Her husband has been deployed most of the baby's life (for the third time since they've been married, I think she said) and their families are on the other side of the country.  She was not inclined in the least to feel sorry for herself but she did say she was hoping the Moms in the preschool music class would turn out to be a good source of friends.  When I thanked her for her sacrifice, she was genuinely surprised.  Strong woman.  I think I'd cry a lot if I were in her shoes.


I get to watch up close some longtime heroes.  Some folks in their twilight times where it's easy to question one's  "worth" and "contribution" and wonder how much they still matter.  I think it'd be awfully hard to keep a great attitude when you feel worn out.


One really talented gal I know is sometimes tempted to feel washed up or overlooked or insignificant.  She's experienced remarks that imply she's "past her prime" and that it's time for someone else to take that ministry role.  Good thing those views have not been expressed in my presence - I have some awfully strong opinions about that.  So far I've not read anything in Scripture that indicates God tells us to retire from serving Him at some certain age.....


There's a whole group of women I know that have to be some of the greatest of all unsung heroes - single Moms.  I cannot fathom how they manage.  I'm so glad my church intentionally celebrates them on Mother's Day.  Most 6 year olds can't pull off flowers and candy on their own.  And for the record, the single Moms I know do it with a smile and a brave spirit.  I am so proud to know them.  I just want them to know.


And then there's all the zillions of regular ole' ordinary folks that don't stand out.  That don't get applauded or even noticed cause they're just living their lives, just serving and loving and doing things that don't bring any attention from the world.  College students trying to live right and to grow up into responsible adults.  Moms and Dads that so want to do everything just right and still make a living and pay taxes and enjoy dinner & a movie once in a while.  Single adults that sometimes feel like they don't have a place but deeply longing to.  Church staff that don't get the "perks" of attention but just the occasional headache of serving smelly sheep.  Pastors' families that have to share their dad with all of us and also have to endure too many "perks" of attention. 


These folks are dear to me.  And even more so, to God.  The world may rarely, if ever, take note of what they do.  Of their service and their faithfulness and their courage.  But He does.  And He has a significant word for them:


 For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do  (Hebrews 6:10)


And He not only notices, He applauds.  To all the unsung heroes out there, listen.... I'm singing your praises to Him.

And the sun stood still

I've had this post on my heart for quite some time but I've been hesitant to share it.  Not because I don't completely believe every word.  Not at all.  But I fear that some extrapolations of it might cause someone to feel condemnation or defeat.  Where there is none.  So, if you've made a different decision than the one urged in this post, please don't think I am judging you or denouncing you.  This post is meant to encourage those still in the fight.  To give hope and strength.  Please know that.

Sometimes marriage doesn't turn out like the fairytales promise.  (Make that "never" instead of "sometimes"...)  Sometimes things get really bad and feelings of desperation set in.  I've seen it happen hundreds of times.  Then feelings of regretted decisions follow.  As in "I never should have married him"  etc.  There may be times where those regrets are legitimate. But don't let the wrong action make it worse. The consequential decisions have critical repercussions and the fallout is forever.  Good and bad.  Forever.

If you're in a marriage that you think never should have happened, and if you are thinking about calling it quits, I ask that you wait.  And read this passage from Joshua 10 -


But first a little background.....

The Israelites were under the leadership of Joshua.  Moses was gone and Joshua was in charge.  He was doing a great job, except for one mistake.  He made a decision without asking God for input. The Israelites sampled their provisions but did not inquire of the Lord.  Then Joshua made a treaty of peace with them to let them live, and the leaders of the assembly ratified it by oath. (Joshua 9:14,15)

Maybe that doesn't sound like a big deal - Joshua making peace with these folks.  In fact, it sounds like a good thing, doesn't it?  Except that God had said not to.  He repeatedly told Joshua to be careful to observe all that He had commanded Moses to do.  And His instructions to Moses included making no covenant with the inhabitants of the land He was giving them (Exodus 23:31-33).
But Joshua was deceived by the group of Gibeonites that came asking for a covenant of peace.  They said they were from far away when in fact, they were inhabitants of the land that God had promised to Israel.  Making a peace treaty with them would be a direct violation of God's command. 

Shouldn't we let Josh off the hook?  I mean, seriously, he was a great leader and this error wasn't his fault.  These Gibeonites lied to him!  Not his fault at all!

Except that it was his fault.  He acted without asking God what to do.  Big mistake.  Costly one.

OK, so we'll go with that.  But then, once he found out the truth and realized his error, he could be released from this covenant, right?

In a word, NO.  We see in this passage (and over and over throughout Scripture) how seriously God takes covenants.  The covenant of marriage is His picture to the world of His commitment to us.  Once God enters into a  covenant, HE DOES NOT LEAVE.  He commits Himself to us forever.
And when God's people made a covenant - even one with the deceitful Gibeonites - He would not allow them to leave.  He required that His people live up to the promises made and not only live in peace with these people but also protect them from harm. 

Wow.  God expected a lot of His people, didn't He?

But look what He did on their behalf!!!! Let me warn you - this is so exciting you might need to sit down.  This is positively awesome.  And true.

 The Gibeonites were being attacked by five other nations.  It looked hopeless.  They sent word to Joshua, informing him of their plight and reminding him that their covenant relationship bound him to fight for them, to protect them, to come to their aid.
I can't help but wonder if Cap'n Josh had a moment where he thought, "They deserve to be defeated after what they did to me".  But Scripture doesn't tell us that.  What it does say is that Joshua went to their aid.

More importantly, God came to Joshua's aid.

7So Joshua marched up from Gilgal with his entire army, including all the best fighting men. 8The Lord said to Joshua, “Do not be afraid of them; I have given them into your hand. Not one of them will be able to withstand you.”

9After an all-night march from Gilgal, Joshua took them by surprise. 10The Lord threw them into confusion before Israel, so Joshua and the Israelites defeated them completely at Gibeon. Israel pursued them along the road going up to Beth Horon and cut them down all the way to Azekah and Makkedah. 11As they fled before Israel on the road down from Beth Horon to Azekah, the Lord hurled large hailstones down on them, and more of them died from the hail than were killed by the swords of the Israelites.

12On the day the Lord gave the Amorites over to Israel, Joshua said to the Lord in the presence of Israel:

“Sun, stand still over Gibeon,

and you, moon, over the Valley of Aijalon.”

13So the sun stood still,

and the moon stopped,

till the nation avenged itself onb its enemies,

as it is written in the Book of Jashar.

The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day. 14There has never been a day like it before or since, a day when the Lord listened to a human being. Surely the Lord was fighting for Israel

Notice that not only did the Israelites prevail, the Gibeonites were preserved and the true enemy was annihilated. 

If you are in a covenant that's being attacked, even a covenant that you never should have made, I am praying that you will follow Joshua's example and ask God to rain down hailstones on the enemy and even to make the sun stand still while He defeats the one who desires your destruction.  That enemy is not your covenant partner.