Posting letter # 3 - to Chip

About ten years ago, I received a poem that I will cherish forever.  It ranks higher than any written by the great poets of the ages.  Cuz it was written and presented to me by my boy. Unabridged, unedited, here it is:

Mom, Mom, super Mom
Mom, Mom, your da bomb
Your as pretty as a pearl
I just hope that you don't hurl.







I am not sure if he should set his sights on winning the Pulitzer Prize but I can promise you has already won my heart. This boy of mine.  Pretty much perfect.

Named for his father and grandfather, we call him "Chip".  I just knew that one day God would give me at least one boy and one girl so I had their names picked out before I got the engagement ring sized.  And, in a way that only another Mom would understand, I knew my children even before they were fighting me for space in my womb.  And I knew my boy would be "Chip".  Chip Chambers.  As in chip off the old block, he is very much like the men from whom he inherited his name.  Tall and handsome.  Warm and friendly.  Easygoing.  Funny.  Unquestionable integrity. Kind-hearted.  Well-respected by folks in all walks of life.  A leader. A wee bit stubborn.....

He also gets some traits from the males on his maternal side.  Studious.  Deep thinker.  Tenacious. Unimpressed by worldly things. Competitive.  Admired and respected.  Trustworthy.  Another dose of wee bit stubborn....

Mix all these things up, add a pinch of this and a smidge of that, and there you have it - my Chip.

Smart. This is undoubtedly one of the first words many people would use to describe my Chip.  And it is spot-on.  He is highly intelligent, curious about all things he has yet to learn, able to teach himself (this is actually a requirement for admission into my homeschool...), and deep.  Most importantly, he is wise.  More and more I am experiencing role reversal where Chip displays the insight and wisdom needed instead of me.  I keep reminding myself that my goal has always been to work myself out of a job...

Diligent.  Let's face it - there are an awful lot of really smart people in this world that never amount to a plug nickel.  Cuz they're lazy.  So I am especially grateful that God endowed this kid with a super-sized dose of diligence.  Whether it's basketball or his lawncare business or playing Risk or writing a research paper, he is intense about working hard to do all things excellently.  He doesn't believe in "this just doesn't matter much" - to him, it ALL matters.

Mature.  Actually, this is a word routinely used by other people to describe all four of my favorite tax deductions.  I will avoid the thought that perhaps their maturity is a response to the lack of the same trait in their mother..........Instead, I will just focus on their manifestation of it.  What do I mean by maturity?  Well, Chip is responsible.  He takes charge of his schedule and his time and his belongings.  If he is assigned a task, he does it.  I don't have to goad him or remind him - he just does it.  Well.  If he makes a mistake (and that, of course, is hypothetical since he's pretty much perfect!), he owns up to it and makes it right.  He understands that being a man is not about being macho; it's about being mature.  Responsible and accountable.  Which leads me to the next description.

Leadership. Chip embodies the leadership Christ exhorts us to in Scripture -- servant-leadership.  He cheerfully serves "the least of them" and is equally comfortable engaging "the greatest of these".  He doesn't view any task as being beneath him and he is confident enough to take charge of a situation and direct activity. He passionately rejects the attitude that many men today default to - passivity.  Instead, he is intentional and tenacious and he leads.  What's even more impressive is that he doesn't just lead....people follow.

Generous.  Lord knows this boy is generous.  With his time.  He serves and volunteers several times a week. With his talents.  Ditto.  And with his treasure.  His sisters know how generous and thoughtful he is...and creative - from wrapping up a live cat as part of his gift presentation to just the right (and costly) item for each sister at Christmas to dollar amounts that make me gulp when I happen to accidentally discover what he is giving away.  Truly only the Lord does know how generous this boy of mine is.

With all these sophisticated adjectives to convey my Chip, one might be tempted to assume that he isn't fun to be with.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Fun is a preeminent label used to define him. Fun and funny.  Quick wit.  Keen sense of humor.  And he can even laugh at himself.  Like I said, he's pretty much perfect.

One day, some really lucky gal will receive the blessing of doing life with a hard-working, brilliant, mature, handsome leader.  She is going to have a bunch of fun and enjoy the benefits of a generous,  kind, wee bit stubborn man.  And I'll bet she gets a poem or two of her own.  What a lucky gal.  I'm praying she's pretty as a pearl. 

Happy Birthday, Mary - Letter # 2

Psalme 127:3 proclaims "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord,The fruit of the womb is a reward."

21 years ago tomorrow, God - with abundant lovingkindness - sent our family a gift, a reward:  Mary Suzanne Chambers was born.  In typical Mary fashion - 10 days early, late at night, just a little slender bundle slipping into the world.  I was so happy to make you my namesake and to share a birthday month with you. 

How to describe this gift from the Lord?  The first word that comes to mind is beautiful.  Breathtakingly so.  When you were a baby, complete strangers would stop me to comment on your beauty.  Cherubic little face.  Bouncing black curls.  The light in your eyes.  And that smile.  That smile started early.  Even through the pre-braces years when the overbite tempted you to hide it, Daddy nurtured your confidence in that smile.  "Smile, Buddy," he would say, "I love your smile."

The next word I would choose is zest. Not the soap - the vibrancy, the seasoning, the fervor.  Always ready for adventure and excitement.  If you have any fear at all, it's of being bored!  Your energy is contagious - when you are in a room, the whole place lights up.  Yep, "zest" fits you well. Sometimes your zest outkicks your comfort zone but that's not always a bad thing.  Which brings me to the next word -

Resilence.  Of all of us, you are the best at this.  When things begin to not work out so well, you not only have the backup plan in mind, you have already set it in motion.  You don't languish in defeat or self- pity - you move on.  You get over it.  Rub off on me, please.  What an enviable quality, one we all want to emulate.  Which segues into the next word...

Influence.  True leadership.  The ability to effect voluntary behavior change in other people.  From fashion to fun to faith - you are a leader of other people.  People just naturally like you and admire you and want to be like you.

Mary, you are a wonderful sister.  Little and big.  One of the many reasons I am so thankful you are ours is because of the role you play in the lives of your siblings.  From "sister secrets" with Katie to nurturing Betsy to encouraging Chip's journey as the lone brother in this clan, you are a fabulous sister.  OK, there have been some dubious moments like the lure for Lemonheads under the bed and your penchant for wanting to feel "cool and free" when the pastor was over for dinner.  Help.  Can't breathe.

And you are a genuine blessing as a daughter.  I love that we are alike enough to empathize with one another (and call one another out as needed!) and yet UNalike enough so that I can enjoy and admire those qualities in you that I aspire to.

Happy 21st, dear daughter. May "the generation to come set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God and keep His commandments. "Psalm 78:6,7 Remember Psalm 84:11 always.  And Joshua 1:9 "The Lord your God is with you wherever you go".  I love you.

12 feet under

Ask my kids where I am the happiest and they will tell you "12 feet under".  Now that's not a reference to being so dead that I am buried twice the normal 6 feet.  Nor is it a lament on my insurmountable to do list. Nope, 12 feet under means all my offspring are home and gathered round to make "12 feet under my dining room table."  Everybody home.  What a great feeling to this Mommy-heart.

While they were all growing up, and there were 8 feet underneath my own most of the time, I didn't really spend much time pondering the merit of "everybody home". They always were!  Truth be told, I probably spent some time wondering if MY two feet could leave these others here alone!! Even during those years of constant demands and busy-ness, though, my happiest times have always been when my whole family was under the same roof.  (OK I do have to include that we all need to be liking each other for my happiness to be complete.  Anybody know what I mean???) But together.  All of us.  Happy times.

When my oldest left for college, this longing for us to all be together became acute.  Nobody had told me what it felt like for bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh to get her mail at a different address.  That was probably a good thing cuz I probably would have tried hard to convince her that God's will for her was to stay at home until He returned.(Now don't any of you scoff at my grief, knowing that she was only relocating a mere 15 minutes away.  It was still farther than just up the stairs, where she had been for 17 years! ).  I knew it was supposed to be this way.  I knew the point of raising children is to raise AN ADULT.  One that becomes independent and self-sustaining and all that stuff. However,  I also knew that she was really leaving and my family would never be the same and I liked it just the way it was, thank you very much.  But leave, she did.  And she thrived.  Made me so proud of how she turned out, I busted buttons.  Then the next one left and did the same thing.  I alternated between grief and supreme joy at watching my two oldest children turn into adults.  (Amazing ones, in fact.  Turns out their grandparents were right!!)  I truly am thrilled that these letters I helped write are being read and loved and admired in places beyond my dining room table.  I see the unmistakable evidence that God has graciously and generously answered my prayers for their lives.  And, true to His nature, He does above and beyond what I have asked and imagined.  Gives me confidence that the last two letters will experience the same when they take flight.

Yet none of that joy changes the fact that my heart still longs for them all to be home.  I'm OK with the fact that it won't be all the time.  (In fact, I can even manage a smile that one day it'll be only the same 4 feet that started all this crazy stuff! We're gonna have some fun, just us!!)  But those times that we are all here ....and liking each other.....well, that's truly a taste of Heaven for me.  I cook as many favorites of each person that I can fit in.  (We spell "LOVE" - "F-O-O-D", how bout you?) I just want them here so I can love on them.  Feed them.  Serve them.  Just be with them.  I don't need to do anything special, I just want to sit back and watch them.  Interacting with each other.  Laughing.  Sharing.  Yes, teasing.  Eating. Remembering.  Planning.  Belonging.  Loving.  12 feet under.

And now we've added more feet.  Happiness for me is now 16 feet under. Had it this past weekend.  Katie here, bringing with her two big feet and the cutest two little feet ever. Mary here.  Joining Chip and Betsy and Paul and me here. Heavenly togetherness.  A new table is on my wish list!

Just one thought before I close.  Lest you think I am hopelessly sappy, let me tell you that I got this longing from Jesus.  His heart's desire is for those that are His to be with Him. Check out John 17:24 where Jesus is pouring out His heart to His Father.  In this prayer, Jesus asks God to protect us and strengthen us and keep us holy.  He prays for our mission, our transformation, and our pursuit of the Father.  And, after asking all these things for us, He asks for something for Himself.  He tells His Father that He wants us all together.  You and me and the Son and the Father.  Together.  Forever.  Just so we can experience the glory of the Father, the love of the Son.  Wow.  What an awesome dining room table that's gonna be!

 

 

Originally posted on March 3, 2013

Post script

Several "letters to the editor" suggest additional descriptions of Katie that are too important to omit.  I could have gone on and on about her in the first letter but tried to restrain myself.  Still, these two need to be added.

Loyal and capable. Oh yes.  If Katie is your friend, it will be to her dying day.  She will support you and defend you and enjoy you forever.  (Conversely, if you have earned her distrust, it takes an awful lot to move you off the "naughty list".  Just warning...)  And capable.  Oh my, this kid is capable.  She does all things well and makes it look easy. Our family says that Katie has the Midas touch. She succeeds at everything. She's my hero.  Seriously.  If she would just move closer, we could hang out more and increase the chances of her rubbing off on me.

Thank you to those folks who added these descriptions.  You cannot imagine how it blesses a Mama's heart to know other people love your child!

One last note.  I got a couple of playful jabs and eyerolls at my unabashedly bragging on my kids.  Understood.  But, in my defense, "bragging" would imply that I take some credit.  I don't.  I am just thankful.  And, my example is my Heavenly Father, who publicly expressed His love and pride in His Son.  "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased".  So, please know my heart.  I just want to affirm my children for who they are and instill in them the assurance of my forever love. 

Now if I just had some doves at my disposal.....

First letter

As I wrote "Just some things we must tell the children", another whisper came to me.  These life lessons that I want to impart are important.  And I want to be sure my kids get them.  But there are things just as important that I need to communicate to them.  Maybe even more so. Things like how much I love them.  How incredible I think they are.  And how blessed I am to be their Mom.  All four are really  amazing and fabulous gifts.  And I want the world to know them, too.

So I'll start with my first letter.  Katie Alice.  My firstborn.  The one who made me a Mother.  Named for my grandmother and my Mom - two of the most significant people in my world.  How fitting that those names mean "pure" and "truth"...two incredibly accurate desriptions of my Katie.

How would I describe my Katie to someone who didn't know her?  Wow.  If only words could convey who she is and how I feel about her!  But here's a try.

First, gorgeous.  From an early age, her Daddy taught her to say "My Daddy says I'm gaaaawjush".  And "gaaawjush" she continues to be.  Deep brown eyes, the size of dinner plates.  Silky smooth hair that defies the existence of "bad hair day".  Show-stopping gorgeous from the very beginning.

As enviably as her beauty is, her mind and her heart far exceed it. Many girls don't like to be described as intelligent but Katie embraces the fact that God has given her an incredibly bright mind and she uses it to glorify Him.  She has always been inquisitive, loving to learn, and able to do so quickly.  I so wish I could take the credit that people try to give me for her rapid course through homeschooling....but she and I both know that she was pretty much self-taught.  I was too busy with Bonus Baby Betsy to help any of my other kids!

Trustworthy. This kid is 100% trustworthy.  She has never been able to lie - a trait that made my parenting her much easier! I trust not only her truth-telling but also her counsel and her judgment.  I frequently go to her for advice and insight. She is wise, really truly wise.  And thoughtful and thorough.  Her choice of career in the medical field is a perfect fit.  And in her role as a wife and a Mom, well, she's more than perfect.  Seriously.

Kind-hearted.  In no way would I imply that Katie is a pushover.  Uh, no not at all.  But she has a kindness, a consideration towards others, a thoughtfulness that sets her apart.  Especially towards those the world doesn't value.  The least of these.  She's never been one to be impressed by "the beautiful people".  Instead she intuitively chooses those with a beaufiful spirit or those that have the deepest need.

Kind-hearted, yes, but also feisty when the situation calls for it!  Ever ready to come to the defense of a sibling (maaaaaaybe a little too quick sometimes....but that's another story!).  Stubbornly standing her ground on issues of doctrine or weighty matters like football strategy.  Competitive...almost to a fault.  Kind of had to coach her up that we don't always want to beat the boys in everything.....just sayin.....

My Katie.  Well, she's pretty much perfect.  Mary Poppins would envy her.  I am glad she's mine.  I hope you get to know her.  You will be blessed.

I'll get to those other letters soon.  And you will know that I am blessed.  Incredibly, abundantly blessed.  And thankful.  Very thankful.