Sometimes the best word we can speak is to say nothing at all. Check out these bits of wisdom from Proverbs 17:
vs. 10 -
Whoever covers an offense seeks love but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.
.
14 The beginning of strife is like letting out water,
so quit before the quarrel breaks out.
27 Whoever restrains his words has knowledge,
and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
28 Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.
Let's keep quiet sometimes...........we might look wise!
Have you heard....
When I was a little girl, a popular TV show had a segment where a group of girls sang a song that went something like this "You'll never catch one of us repeating gossip...so you'd better be sure and listen close the first time!" Hee-Haw. Made us laugh every time we saw it.
It's not so funny being the victim of gossip, though. Can you relate??
God makes it very clear that He hates gossip. He lists it among murder and pride and lying in Proverbs 6:16-19 --
There are six things the Lord hates – no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord among brothers.
The dictionary defines gossip as "idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others". OK, so what's "idle talk"? Since Scripture warns us about such, we should know what it is.
| But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. Matthew 12:36 |
Gulp. This sounds serious indeed. And it is. Gossip, or idle talk, consists of things said about other people that are not profitable to the subject, the hearer, or the speaker.
Gossip is sometimes lies sprinkled with some truth. Words that cause the hearer to think less of the person being "discussed" . Words that destroy relationships. Murder reputations. Other times, the juicy morsels are all lies. And irreparable damage is done. But sometimes, gossip consists of things that are true but would have been better left unsaid. Words that are not profitable for the one being discussed. Secrets shared that should have never been disclosed.
Take a look at these verses with me:
Proverbs 16:28, A troublemaker stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.
A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret Proverbs 11:12-13.
I've done it. Maybe you have, too. Shared some information that was of no benefit to the hearer or the subject. It's almost comical how we do it. "Did you hear that..." or "I don't know if this is right but I heard..." My personal UNfavorite is the one thinly disguised as a prayer request - "I know you'll want to be praying about this....". Super spiritual for sure.
I don't know why we are tempted to do it. When we do, we have fallen prey to the deception that such "sharing" will be beneficial to US. That by tearing someone else down, we will look bigger. But that's the biggest lie of all. We not only do damage to others with our gossipy words, but we also destroy our own selves.
Maybe we will be motivated to curb our gossipy tongue when we remember the truth of Proverbs 18:21 -
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits
We will enjoy the fruit of life-giving words. Or we will reap the consequences of death-inducing words.
My Mama says it this way "What goes around, comes around."
Amen, Mama. Amen.
Why do tragedies occur? 10 things to embrace during seasons of pain
Today, a godly, selfless, radiant wife and Mom of three little girls is being laid to rest. A missionary pouring out her life in a foreign land. A woman of kindness and enthusiasm and joy. And not that it matters, but she was also very beautiful.
Her young husband is left alone to raise these precious babies and thousands of friends are grieving with him. Missing Kyra, too. Wondering how he will manage, where will he land, and why.
From an earthly perspective, it just doesn't make sense. It doesn't seem "fair". Why would God allow such a tragedy to befall such wonderful people? People whose only goal was to serve Him.
I surely cannot answer the "why" It doesn't make sense to me, either. If I were running the Universe, I'd take out a whole lot of other people before I brought pain to this family.
Indeed, I cannot answer the "why".
Except with a "WHO".
All I have to offer myself and the others who grieve today is the confidence that God is Who He says He is.
Here are some thoughts that I am encouraging myself with today in hopes that something might encourage you as well:
1. God is in control of all of history, including events that bring pain to those He loves. He is sovereign over all. Isaiah 45:5-7 declares this boldly:
"I am the Lord, and there is no other; Besides Me, there is no God. I will gird you, though you have not known Me, that men may know from the rising to the setting of the sun that there is no one besides Me. I am the Lord and there is no other; The One forming light and creating darkness, Causing well-being and creating calamity; I am the Lord who does all these."
Since He is God, He can do whatever pleases Him and He doesn't owe me an explanation. Even if He explained Himself, there are some things I could not understand this side of Eternity. Settling the issue of His sovereignty is the first step that leads to peace and joy. I can trust His absolute control.
2. God is love and He cannot act apart from His nature. All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful toward those who keep the demands of his covenant. (Psalm 25:10) and Psalm 145:17 - The LORD is righteous in all of his ways and graciously loving in all of his activities.
His sovereignty would be terrifying if He were not total and complete and unwavering LOVE. He is immutable (Malachi 3:6). I can trust His love.
3. God is always at work to accomplish His purpose. Even if I can't see what He's doing. Nothing can prevent His plan from unfolding. Isaiah 14:24 and 27:The Lord Almighty has sworn,“Surely, as I have planned, so it will be,and as I have purposed, so it will happen For the Lord Almighty has purposed, and who can thwart him?His hand is stretched out, and who can turn it back
But the very best part is that His purpose, His plan, is good (for His people, anyway!)...For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 and again in Romans 8:28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whoi have been called according to his purpose
I can trust His plans.
4. Sometimes He requires hard things of those He loves. Things that cause pain and suffering and doubt. For no apparent reason. When we suffer the consequences that accompany sin and wrong-doing, we can see the reason. When we are living righteously and serving Him with our whole heart and then suffer, that's the times that bring the most pain. The hard questions. The penetrating doubts.
Here's what the Apostle Peter says in his first epistle, chapter 4, verse 12: Beloved, do not be surprised and the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you. So when hardship comes, don't be surprised. He told us this would happen. Don't lose heart. Keep the faith. He keeps His Word....I can trust Him.
5. He will judge those who hurt His people. When tragedy comes, we might be tempted to feel anger towards those who seem to cause it. But God exhorts us instead to forgive them, to pray for them, and to rest in His judgment. For the Lord is a God of retribution;he will repay in full (Jeremiah 51:56) He is not only LOVE, He is also HOLY. And JUST. Resting in the unshakeable truths of His sovereignty, His love, and His good purpose, we can trust and obey His command to forgive. And to pray not for His judgment on the perpetrator but that salvation would come. He desires that none should perish. I can trust His heart.
6. He will never leave us or forsake us. God is not a passive observer nor a distant spectator. Psalm 46:1 says God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble A very present help He knows our pain, He hears our cries, and He is right there with us - supplying comfort and guidance and strength. And even joy. He gives us Himself. And we find that is enough. I can trust His presence.
7. It's ok to ask Him "why". I think God would far rather we run to Him with an honest hurting heart and pour out our questions than to withdraw from Him and let our questions fester. When we do that, we open up our hearts to hear His truth and receive His grace. Psalm 42:9 is such a pouring out - I will say to God my rock, "Why hast Thou forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?" And, like the Psalmist, when I take my hurts to Him, I find the answer - I can trust that my Hope is in Him.
8. One day, the suffering and tragedies here on Earth will make sense. Romans 8:18 explains: For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us . I can hardly imagine what That Day will be like, when the veil that clouds our understanding is lifted and we see Who He Is, His Glory, HIM. We will know Him, the power of His resurrection, the fellowship of his sufferings, having been conformed to His death in order to attain to the resurrection (Phil. 3:10,11). And this life with all its pain will be eclipsed by Eternity - Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you (Psalm 31:19) I can trust my future to Him.
9. He will give me the grace I need to trust Him in the hard and inexplicable places of life. When I contemplate what is needed to survive some of the hardships God allows in people's lives, I practically shudder. I shake my head, knowing I could not bear it. Even from a distance, the pain seems too great, the requirements too much, the burdens too heavy. Then I am reminded that God doesn't give me the grace to bear anything that He doesn't give me...that's why it seems unbearable to me. But when He does call us to suffer, to experience dark paths, to endure the seemingly unendurable - that's when His grace is made available to me. If I ask. Not before.
And that's when I find that His grace is indeed "sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9) I can trust Him to give me grace.
10. I can choose joy. Habakkuk 3:17-19 explains that I can choose joy in the midst of loss and disappointment and pain...and when I find that joy in Him, I find strength and security and peace.
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
No, I cannot explain why tragedies occur. I cannot give an answer to the "why's" in times like this. Even though I don't know "why", I do know WHO.
And I trust Him.
Though he slay me, I will hope in him Job 13:15
Her young husband is left alone to raise these precious babies and thousands of friends are grieving with him. Missing Kyra, too. Wondering how he will manage, where will he land, and why.
From an earthly perspective, it just doesn't make sense. It doesn't seem "fair". Why would God allow such a tragedy to befall such wonderful people? People whose only goal was to serve Him.
I surely cannot answer the "why" It doesn't make sense to me, either. If I were running the Universe, I'd take out a whole lot of other people before I brought pain to this family.
Indeed, I cannot answer the "why".
Except with a "WHO".
All I have to offer myself and the others who grieve today is the confidence that God is Who He says He is.
Here are some thoughts that I am encouraging myself with today in hopes that something might encourage you as well:
1. God is in control of all of history, including events that bring pain to those He loves. He is sovereign over all. Isaiah 45:5-7 declares this boldly:
"I am the Lord, and there is no other; Besides Me, there is no God. I will gird you, though you have not known Me, that men may know from the rising to the setting of the sun that there is no one besides Me. I am the Lord and there is no other; The One forming light and creating darkness, Causing well-being and creating calamity; I am the Lord who does all these."
Since He is God, He can do whatever pleases Him and He doesn't owe me an explanation. Even if He explained Himself, there are some things I could not understand this side of Eternity. Settling the issue of His sovereignty is the first step that leads to peace and joy. I can trust His absolute control.
2. God is love and He cannot act apart from His nature. All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful toward those who keep the demands of his covenant. (Psalm 25:10) and Psalm 145:17 - The LORD is righteous in all of his ways and graciously loving in all of his activities.
His sovereignty would be terrifying if He were not total and complete and unwavering LOVE. He is immutable (Malachi 3:6). I can trust His love.
3. God is always at work to accomplish His purpose. Even if I can't see what He's doing. Nothing can prevent His plan from unfolding. Isaiah 14:24 and 27:The Lord Almighty has sworn,“Surely, as I have planned, so it will be,and as I have purposed, so it will happen For the Lord Almighty has purposed, and who can thwart him?His hand is stretched out, and who can turn it back
But the very best part is that His purpose, His plan, is good (for His people, anyway!)...For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 and again in Romans 8:28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whoi have been called according to his purpose
I can trust His plans.
4. Sometimes He requires hard things of those He loves. Things that cause pain and suffering and doubt. For no apparent reason. When we suffer the consequences that accompany sin and wrong-doing, we can see the reason. When we are living righteously and serving Him with our whole heart and then suffer, that's the times that bring the most pain. The hard questions. The penetrating doubts.
Here's what the Apostle Peter says in his first epistle, chapter 4, verse 12: Beloved, do not be surprised and the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you. So when hardship comes, don't be surprised. He told us this would happen. Don't lose heart. Keep the faith. He keeps His Word....I can trust Him.
5. He will judge those who hurt His people. When tragedy comes, we might be tempted to feel anger towards those who seem to cause it. But God exhorts us instead to forgive them, to pray for them, and to rest in His judgment. For the Lord is a God of retribution;he will repay in full (Jeremiah 51:56) He is not only LOVE, He is also HOLY. And JUST. Resting in the unshakeable truths of His sovereignty, His love, and His good purpose, we can trust and obey His command to forgive. And to pray not for His judgment on the perpetrator but that salvation would come. He desires that none should perish. I can trust His heart.
6. He will never leave us or forsake us. God is not a passive observer nor a distant spectator. Psalm 46:1 says God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble A very present help He knows our pain, He hears our cries, and He is right there with us - supplying comfort and guidance and strength. And even joy. He gives us Himself. And we find that is enough. I can trust His presence.
7. It's ok to ask Him "why". I think God would far rather we run to Him with an honest hurting heart and pour out our questions than to withdraw from Him and let our questions fester. When we do that, we open up our hearts to hear His truth and receive His grace. Psalm 42:9 is such a pouring out - I will say to God my rock, "Why hast Thou forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?" And, like the Psalmist, when I take my hurts to Him, I find the answer - I can trust that my Hope is in Him.
8. One day, the suffering and tragedies here on Earth will make sense. Romans 8:18 explains: For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us . I can hardly imagine what That Day will be like, when the veil that clouds our understanding is lifted and we see Who He Is, His Glory, HIM. We will know Him, the power of His resurrection, the fellowship of his sufferings, having been conformed to His death in order to attain to the resurrection (Phil. 3:10,11). And this life with all its pain will be eclipsed by Eternity - Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you (Psalm 31:19) I can trust my future to Him.
9. He will give me the grace I need to trust Him in the hard and inexplicable places of life. When I contemplate what is needed to survive some of the hardships God allows in people's lives, I practically shudder. I shake my head, knowing I could not bear it. Even from a distance, the pain seems too great, the requirements too much, the burdens too heavy. Then I am reminded that God doesn't give me the grace to bear anything that He doesn't give me...that's why it seems unbearable to me. But when He does call us to suffer, to experience dark paths, to endure the seemingly unendurable - that's when His grace is made available to me. If I ask. Not before.
And that's when I find that His grace is indeed "sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9) I can trust Him to give me grace.
10. I can choose joy. Habakkuk 3:17-19 explains that I can choose joy in the midst of loss and disappointment and pain...and when I find that joy in Him, I find strength and security and peace.
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
God, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer's;
he makes me tread on my high places
No, I cannot explain why tragedies occur. I cannot give an answer to the "why's" in times like this. Even though I don't know "why", I do know WHO.
And I trust Him.
Though he slay me, I will hope in him Job 13:15
Happy Valentine's Day!
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. We love Him because He first loved us. What shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or peril or sword? Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself'. Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. If you love Me, keep My commandments.
And we have known and believed the loved that God has for us.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself'. Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. If you love Me, keep My commandments.
And we have known and believed the loved that God has for us.
What's the answer?
Have you ever felt like God didn't answer your prayers? Well, I have! Those feelings are not accurate, though. God answers all prayers of His children. (Not so for those that don't belong to Him, but that's a subject for another post).
He always answers....but the answer isn't always "yes". Sometimes He says "yes", sometimes He says "no", and sometimes He says..."wait." But He always answers.
Let's talk for a minute about how we handle those "no" and "wait" answers. Both of those can be difficult.
When God is saying "wait" or "not now", it can feel like He is saying nothing. That makes us wonder if He's not listening or doesn't care or "maybe this prayer stuff just doesn't work for me". I understand. In those times of not seeing God's answers, I find it so very helpful to focus on His attributes. Like we are told in Philippians to set our minds on what is TRUE. Not what might be true or could be true or what feels true. What IS true. And the truth is that God is always good, always faithful, always loving, always sovereign, and always at work on our behalf in a thousand ways that we cannot see. His Word is true-er than our circumstances. Always. He calls us to walk by faith, not by sight. That means trusting in who He is, not what I can see, or especially not what I think I see! When I am tempted to be discouraged or frustrated at the apparent lack of His answer, I remind myself to persevere. His Word is very clear that we are to be persistent in our prayers. Keep on asking, knowing that in due time, He will answer. There are times we need to strengthen those spiritual muscles, break out in a little prayerful sweat, and purpose not to give up. In those times, I believe He sends His angels to encourage us, to minister to us....to infuse hope and endurance. Just like Mary and Martha experienced when their brother Lazarus had died. It surely felt and seemed and looked like God had ignored them. But then Jesus showed up. On time....even though it looked like He was four days late. I haven't had the experience of seeing one who was dead walk out of the tomb but I can personally attest to the TRUTH that God answers prayer. And He rewards our persistence.
If you are in a "wait" time, right now, don't give up. Keep praying. You very well might be just about to see God do something beyond your wildest expectations. He's like that!
What about the times God says "no"? Even as I type this, tears are welling up, recalling times He has said that to me or to people I love. And the cry of "why" either screamed through every fiber of my being...or got stuck in my throat in an attempt to deny the pain. I wish I had a 3 point message that would answer our questions and resolve the anguish. I don't. And I don't think there is one, in spite of what some people say. I don't know the "why" but I do know the "Who". And He is with us. Supporting. Sustaining. Comforting.
I know that One Day, the answers to the "whys" will be there. Some things are explained in this life but a whole lot will be left to be revealed in Eternity. Until then, may we draw strength from the Truth of Who He is. Love. Wisdom. Power. Understanding. Compassion. Holy.
In times of "no", I always think about a time when my husband made a decision for our family to move from North Carolina to Georgia. Our children could not understand why we would leave a place where we were so happy, where their friends were, where their entire lives were anchored. As parents, we were unable to explain to our sobbing 7 year old that this was a good thing, that God had directed us to leave, that this move would also provide happiness and new friends and all that she thought she was leaving. Then, in a moment only orchestrated by God, our 10 year old said through her quiet tears, "Mary, Mary. Don't you know Daddy loves us? And he would never do anything that wasn't best for all of us".
God spoke to me in that moment. In the whisper of my daughter, He strongly explained that I would face times when I was sobbing in His arms about decisions He had made on my behalf. And in those times, He wanted me to know that He loves me. And He will never do anything that wasn't best for all of us.
If He is telling you "no" right now, I fervently pray that you will feel the assurance of His love. And in the goodness of His plan.
Keep praying.
He always answers....but the answer isn't always "yes". Sometimes He says "yes", sometimes He says "no", and sometimes He says..."wait." But He always answers.
Let's talk for a minute about how we handle those "no" and "wait" answers. Both of those can be difficult.
When God is saying "wait" or "not now", it can feel like He is saying nothing. That makes us wonder if He's not listening or doesn't care or "maybe this prayer stuff just doesn't work for me". I understand. In those times of not seeing God's answers, I find it so very helpful to focus on His attributes. Like we are told in Philippians to set our minds on what is TRUE. Not what might be true or could be true or what feels true. What IS true. And the truth is that God is always good, always faithful, always loving, always sovereign, and always at work on our behalf in a thousand ways that we cannot see. His Word is true-er than our circumstances. Always. He calls us to walk by faith, not by sight. That means trusting in who He is, not what I can see, or especially not what I think I see! When I am tempted to be discouraged or frustrated at the apparent lack of His answer, I remind myself to persevere. His Word is very clear that we are to be persistent in our prayers. Keep on asking, knowing that in due time, He will answer. There are times we need to strengthen those spiritual muscles, break out in a little prayerful sweat, and purpose not to give up. In those times, I believe He sends His angels to encourage us, to minister to us....to infuse hope and endurance. Just like Mary and Martha experienced when their brother Lazarus had died. It surely felt and seemed and looked like God had ignored them. But then Jesus showed up. On time....even though it looked like He was four days late. I haven't had the experience of seeing one who was dead walk out of the tomb but I can personally attest to the TRUTH that God answers prayer. And He rewards our persistence.
If you are in a "wait" time, right now, don't give up. Keep praying. You very well might be just about to see God do something beyond your wildest expectations. He's like that!
What about the times God says "no"? Even as I type this, tears are welling up, recalling times He has said that to me or to people I love. And the cry of "why" either screamed through every fiber of my being...or got stuck in my throat in an attempt to deny the pain. I wish I had a 3 point message that would answer our questions and resolve the anguish. I don't. And I don't think there is one, in spite of what some people say. I don't know the "why" but I do know the "Who". And He is with us. Supporting. Sustaining. Comforting.
I know that One Day, the answers to the "whys" will be there. Some things are explained in this life but a whole lot will be left to be revealed in Eternity. Until then, may we draw strength from the Truth of Who He is. Love. Wisdom. Power. Understanding. Compassion. Holy.
In times of "no", I always think about a time when my husband made a decision for our family to move from North Carolina to Georgia. Our children could not understand why we would leave a place where we were so happy, where their friends were, where their entire lives were anchored. As parents, we were unable to explain to our sobbing 7 year old that this was a good thing, that God had directed us to leave, that this move would also provide happiness and new friends and all that she thought she was leaving. Then, in a moment only orchestrated by God, our 10 year old said through her quiet tears, "Mary, Mary. Don't you know Daddy loves us? And he would never do anything that wasn't best for all of us".
God spoke to me in that moment. In the whisper of my daughter, He strongly explained that I would face times when I was sobbing in His arms about decisions He had made on my behalf. And in those times, He wanted me to know that He loves me. And He will never do anything that wasn't best for all of us.
If He is telling you "no" right now, I fervently pray that you will feel the assurance of His love. And in the goodness of His plan.
Keep praying.