Planning....simply

Luke 10:41,42

⁴¹ But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; ⁴² but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her

This passage is rich with not only spiritual but also practical meaning and application.  You might be familiar with the story -- Jesus has come to visit His dear friends, Mary, Martha, and Lazarus.  Martha can hardly enjoy the visit because she is so busy trying to get dinner on the table.  And she's irritated with her sister who, instead of helping Martha accomplish her agenda, is just sitting with Jesus.  She even (self-righteously??) implores Jesus to make Martha come help her.  Verses 41 and 42 record His gentle answer.

Last week we considered the ant, who plans in advance for what is coming.  Application of that principle helps me get things done, weather emergencies , take advantage of unplanned opportunities, and minimize my stress.  The principle of simplicity is at least as important as that of planning. How does planning dovetail with simplicity?

Let me explain....

Simplicity.  Not being "worried and bothered about so many things".  First, let's apply that spiritually, because in reality, all other application flows from that.  If we are "too busy" to have adequate, consistent times where we worship the Lord, meditate on His Word, and listen to His voice, then we can be completely sure that we are doing a whole of things that He doesn't intend for us to do.  Mark this down -- we will always have enough time to do what He calls us to do.  If we can't "get it all done", then some of "it" doesn't need to be there.  I used to hear myself answer "BUSY" when people asked how I was doing.  His still small voice corrected me, speaking softly that I was being prideful and boastful.  So I stopped. 

Moving right along..... I have consistently found that if I make it my priority to listen to Him, then I greatly reduce my stress and prevent getting into a frazzled state.  It's helpful to take a look at what causes our frazzled state to begin with.  Here are some thoughts (most of which are up close and personal, if you know what I mean)

-  trying to make things "perfect"
Now before all you folks that excel at certain things get all out of whack, I will acknowledge that I appreciate your gifts.  I love lovely things, too.  Homes and decorations and performances etc.  But sometimes we give other people ulcers trying to create our idea of perfection.  Other times, we fail to deliver anything at all because we are still researching more ways to add bling.....

- trying to impress others
I guess that's self-explanatory but I just have to comment anyway.  Why do we really care what they think????? 

- doing more than is called for
Uh, that can be quite prideful.  Now I don't mean going the extra mile.  I used to work for Chick-fil-A Inc for crying out loud!!  I mean fixing 7 courses for dinner and being a wreck before soup is served when hamburgers would've been just fine and making everyone feel welcome. Or thinking you have to decorate every square inch of your home for the Holidays.  (BTW - it feels really good to be freed up from that!  I left several boxes in the attic this year and didn't even wince about leaving my stairs free from garland!)

-placing importance on the wrong things
Like making everyone late because you had to get your makeup just right.  Or you checked facebook a little too long.  Or screaming at your 6 year old for an innocent milk spill accident.

Yep, planning is a good thing.  But so is simplicity.  Knowing what matters...and what doesn't.  And staying in constant touch with Him so I know the difference.  Keeps me from being worried and bothered about so many things.  Helps me choose the good part, which cannot be taken away.

Amen

 

ThanksLIVING update

I hope and pray that the updates I share about what Betsy and I are doing are received as they are intended -- as ideas for you to springboard from, not as boasting.  They are such simple ideas that it would be pitiful boasting material for sure!  But I truly hope you know my heart.  I am encouraged and inspired when others let their lights shine for all the world to see....and give glory to our Father who is in Heaven.

Here's what we've done since the last time I posted:

Made cards that said "Random Acts of Kindness to wish you a Merry CHRISTmas" and taped candy canes to them.  Then we drove all over the east side of Athens and taped them to ATMS and bus stops.  This was so fun!  Especially when the same state trooper spied us twice in the act :)

Made coffeecake for our church staff and delivered for their staff meeting

(Betsy) wrote a thank you note to an adult who has had a significant impact on her life

(Betsy) wrote a note to encourage a friend.

If you're doing some things like these, I'd love to hear your ideas!!  Thanks!

The sibling test

The post "Just some things we must tell the children" is one of the most popular ones I've done.  And one of the most frequent comments is "what's the sibling test?"  I've answered the questions briefly but now it's time for a post for "the rest of the story"

The sibling test is really quite simple.  When pondering a serious relationship, our family members rely on the feedback of their sibs.  We've seen it time and time again -- brothers and sisters know one another in a dimension different than anyone else.  Their love goes back further and down deeper than anyone but parents and they are able to assess potential relationships with wisdom that belies their years.  Without overstepping their bounds and interfering in a sibling's love life, our kids have proven their ability to appraise a suitor with such accuracy that we have come to the conclusion that a sibling's approval is as important as a parent's. After all, they have to share the Thanksgiving table with them forever so they oughta have some input!

Now for the background....the sibling test originated in my own dating life.  In my era, we didn't have "DTR" talks nor did we ponder the seriousness of a relationship based on Facebook status.  Most of my peers in the 80's dated lots of folks simultaneously, had lots of harmless fun, and didn't get exclusive until marriage was on the radar.  One of my husband's favorite stories to tell our kids is the time he was my 3rd date...in one day.  I saved the best for last - what can I say?  In spite of the lack of relational commitment, we gals (of course) were always sizing up the fellas to determine if they were "MM" - that would be "marriage material".  Dozens of guys came and went.  Lots made it home to meet my family and come under their scrutiny.  During the time I was dating the tall dark handsome man who is now my husband, I was, nonetheless, "keeping my options open". There were lots of dates to be had and I didn't want to miss any! However, this one continued to appear on the scene,and my family figured it was potentially serious.  My brother remarked to my Mom (and of course the comment made its way to me!) that this would be the one I would marry because he was the only one that wouldn't do what I told him to!  Initially, that insight irritated me.  That didn't sound like true love to me - a man that wouldn't do what I wanted, well, my goodness!  But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me.  The magnetism I felt for this man was founded on respect.  Admiration that he was not able to be manipulated or intimidated by me.  Instead of feeling like NON love, it felt awfully secure.  Respect.  Yes, there was chemistry.  But there was more to this relationship.

 And somehow my brother could sense it.  Somehow he knew that this tall slim fresh out of college kid would not only love his sister with all his heart, provide him with 3 nieces and 1 nephew to love, help care for his parents, share the ups and downs of UGA football like no other, but also be his best friend for life.

27 years, 4 kids, grandchildren, some tears, lots of laughs, some stresses, an unshakeable faith, a life full of kindness and love....and my brother's still right -- this man still won't do what I tell him to!

And, guess what....I'm so glad.

The sibling test.  It worked.

ThanksLIVING update - Days 1-5

So far, our little service project endeavor has been a lot of fun...and not a lot of extra work for Mom.  Hate to sound selfish but just being honest -- if this idea had added too much to my plate, there would not have been a sweet spirit to go with the living of thanks.  Just sayin :)

Here's what Betsy and I have done so far--
Made cookies and homemade cards and delivered to a dear neighbor
Delivered cookies and card to the police department
Wrote TY notes and added small gift cards for her Sunday School teachers
Today we deliver cookies to our friends at the Post Office

Do you see a theme here??? F-O-O=D!!!!  That's how my family spells "LOVE"....and apparently "Thanks" !!

Holiday plans

The ants are not a strong people, But they prepare their food in the summer;  Proverbs 30:25


I love Christmas.  I should say I love SOME things about Christmas!  I love what we celebrate, I love expressions of affection towards friends and family, I love being purposeful about spending time with family, I love the halo effect of cheer and kindness that often prevails, I love the spirit of generosity that permeates the atmosphere.  I think that's what Christmas is all about.

But there are some other things that I don't love about Christmas.  It can feel like a program, even a "Christmas machine" that looms ready to roll right over me and smash me flatter than a pancake.  Do you know what I mean?  Presents to buy, interminable to-do lists, decorating, children's performances, office parties, memories to make.  All fun things....until I cave to what I perceive are the expectations of others.  (Note that I deliberately say "perceive" -- often these expectations are in MY head, not the minds of others).  I can stress that someone will be disappointed (in me), something important will be forgotten, or an opportunity will be missed.  If I'm not mindful of my propensity to operate under the burden of perceived expectations rather than the Spirit of Christmas, I find myself longing for Dec 26.  Guilty that I spent too much money.  Sad that I didn't achieve the magic desired.  Irritated that I had so much to do.  Exhausted because I tried to do so much.  Defeated.  I don't think this is what Christmas is all about.


 Maybe you experience some of those same things.  If so, I can share with you some things that help me.  Now, mind you, I still feel some pressure.  I still wish I could unplug this machine and replace it with simplicity.  Alas, I cannot.  But I do have some tips that I've found helpful.  Today I'll share my main one.

Remember the ant.  Yep, planning.  A former boss of mine used to say "Prior planning prevents poor performance".  Not a revolutionary idea, I know.  But, if implemented, it produces revolutionary results.  Like the ant, I begin Christmas planning in the summer.  I mean, it always comes on the same day every year, right?  So we can plan for it.  Actually, I begin planning 364 days ahead - when I pack up the decorations and organize them so they are easy to locate, identify, and use the following year.  Makes it easier for my "helpers", too......  And after Christmas sales are great for discounted wrapping paper, napkins & other paper goods, even generic gifts that can be used for teachers, etc the next year.  Store Christmas items with the decorations and the gifts in the gift corner (which for me is under my bed!)

But here it is December.  If you didn't begin 6 months ago, all isn't lost.  But you need to begin planning now.  MAKE THE TIME.  Get off the computer.  Get up 30 minutes earlier tomorrow.  MAKE A PLAN.  List all gifts that need to be given (and budget.....but that's another post), write down all events (children's performances, parties, neighborhood caroling, church stuff - everything) and then post it on the calendar.  (You DO have a master calendar where all family things are posted, right?) Then - and this is major- make notes of the requirements of each event.  For instance - if your child has a school party and you need to send a snack and a wrapped gift, make note of that.

Once all info is listed and events placed on the calendar, then schedule times for the requirements.  As in - if the choir party is Wednesday night and you are supposed to bring divinity, put "candy making" on the calendar for Sunday.  I like building in margin so as to accommodate unplanned opportunities and emergencies.  But the key is to commit to those planned requirements faithfully.  If the calendar says to get the teacher gifts today, GET THE TEACHER GIFTS TODAY.

Pretty simple to suggest.  Easy to fail in execution.  Powerful results possible.  Be the ant.  Plan.

More tips later.