Love covers

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.  I Peter 4:8


Love covers.  What a great truth.  Love is willing to overlook an offense, to absorb being wronged, to pay the cost for someone else's sin.  Wow. 


I want to be loved like that, don't you?  For my family and my friends to forgive me when I mess up, to give me the benefit of the doubt, to understand me and accept me.


I know what the opposite feels like, don't you?  I've had friendships dissolve because I wasn't enough something for the other person.  I've felt walls go up because conflicts weren't resolved.  I've been shut out because of a perceived wrong.  Whatever the reality may be, the bottom line was that there wasn't enough love to cover.


I'll bet you have similar stories of hurt.  I understand.  I hurt with you and for you.


We have a choice about what to do when love falls short of what we need.

We can act in retaliation, hoping that the best defense is a good offense.  Unfortunately, what works in basketball doesn't apply in relationships.


We can react out of self-protection.  But we need to know that keeping our hearts in a cage does more to keep love out than to protect us from harm.


We can reciprocate with pretense and denial, insisting that we don't care what happens, we are fine no matter what others do.  But the only one who's fooled is ourselves.  The wound still bleeds, whether we ignore it or not.


We can wallow in our pain, hoping someone will rescue us.  Good luck with that one!


Or, we can respond in a way that is counter-intuitive.  Actually seems to invite more opportunity for offense, for wrong, for pain.  We can let our love cover the other person's offenses.


I know I want to be loved like that.


I know I want to love others like that.


Like Jesus does.

Is it ever "right" to complain?

Some of you asked for clarification regarding the earlier post on taking problems to the Lord.  Understandably, you want to know if it's ever ok to "complain".  I am right there with you! What about when we are concerned for someone else's safety?  What about when the other person is clearly in the wrong? And we want to make it right?  Isn't it the right thing to do to call attention to the problem?


Well, let's look at what Scripture says..............


 Philippians 2:14 instructs us to Do everything without complaining and arguing.  That's all inclusive and completely clear.  We are not to complain.  Other translations use the words "grumbling, disputing, arguing, murmuring".  I think we get the picture.


How do we apply that to everyday living?  Is there ever a time to call attention to a problem?


Clearly, there is.  Matthew 18:15-18 lays out the way to handle problems - If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.  But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed.  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector




Go directly and only to the person involved in the problem.  And to God for help and grace and wisdom....and to check for any beams that need removing first....Matthew 7:5....




If your fast food order wasn't prepared correctly, humbly, kindly, gently take it back to the cashier and ask for the right sandwich.  Don't immediately go on TripAdvisor and blast the company. If your child's teacher can't manage the classroom, perhaps you can volunteer as an aide but don't chew her up and spit her out over coffee with the other Moms in the class.  If your best friend is an alcoholic, get professional counsel and seek intervention instead of bringing her problem up every week in Bible study for group prayer. 




It seems to me that the bottom line is (as always) a matter of the heart.  If my motive is to help move someone out of danger, to restore them to health and wholeness, then I am definitely exhorted to address the problem with them.  In gentleness and humility, as Galatians 6:1 explains. And this is to be done privately.  Not in a public showdown on social media or at the office's water cooler.  Privately.  So as to restore.  So as to avoid falling into a pit of my own.


If, however, my motive is in some way selfish, if my "rights" have been violated or  I want to prove how right I am or  to inflict an offense in retaliation, then I think the passage that we look to is Proverbs 19:11 - Good sense makes one slow to anger and it is to his glory to overlook an offense.  Overlooking a wrong.  Not calling attention to it (complaining) or insisting that it be made right (arguing) - overlooking it.  I cannot count the number of times I have been warned by the Holy Spirit to refrain from a comment and just overlook.  I also cannot count the number of times I have failed to heed that warning....and oh how I wish I had!


What does it mean to "overlook an offense"?


It doesn't mean to deny an offense has occurred. That's not truth.
 Instead, it means forgiveness and grace in place of demanding to receive what has not been delivered.  It means valuing the relationship and the other person more than our own personal desires for comfort, pleasure, significance, or joy.


When someone has wronged us, there is a debt.  They "owe" us.  Christ's example is that we not "make them pay" but rather that we forgive the debt and then pay it ourselves.  When someone has failed to treat us as we (think) we deserve, we "get that debt of love paid" by seeking fulfillment from Christ's love instead of trying to extract it from the debtor.  And, in Christ's economy, debts we are owed get paid by "spending" love on the one who incurred the debt.  It's incredulous but it's true - when someone has wronged us and we are due justice - or at least an apology - Jesus would have us not seek that payment.  But instead to make investments of love in others (including the offender). 


Investments of love include not complaining or grumbling or airing our offenses.  But instead overlooking them through the lens of Christ's love for us on Calvary.  Miraculously, our own hearts get filled.

Complaining won't do that.  Love will.




Love covers.  A multitude of sins.

I've got this problem.....

I pour out my complaint before him;
I tell my trouble before him
Psalm 142:2


Here's the thought for today - next time we have a complaint about someone or something, next time we are troubled about someone or something, let's tell the Only One who can help.


Instead of our neighbor. Or our sister. Or our husband. Or Heaven forbid - Twitter!


Let's tell our Heavenly Father. Really tell Him. As in casting all our cares on Him. Because, remember, He cares for us! (I Peter 5:7)

We can't settle for "normal" now

It's surreal.


The atrocities going on across the sea.


In Israel and Palestine and Gaza. In Iraq. Especially in Iraq.


I read online reports. See the news. And I am horrified.


Then I go grocery shopping. Take my child to piano lessons. Look after my Mom. Life is normal. I give little thought to the horrors.


But the anguish returns. I wonder if it is all true. Perhaps some lies are being disseminated. Then I read reports from credible sources that reveal more evil. Normal is shattered.


HOW CAN THIS TAKE PLACE?


Children being beheaded. Women kidnapped and forced into slave trade. Crucifixions. Victims being buried alive.


Surely this cannot be! We live in a civilized world....or so I thought. The shocking barbarity that I learned about when studying the Middle Ages - AND THE HOLOCAUST - are not just in the history books. Humans are capable of unspeakable evil. Here and now. We cannot pretend or deny or ignore.


The most heartbreaking issue of all is that this inhumane cruelty is in the name of religion.
I cannot process it. I simply cannot.


So I go back to my mundane normality. My blessed, precious, wonderful, mundane normality.


But I cannot stay there. I have to do something. We all do. We must not return to our "normal" and ignore this horrible truth.


We know the quote from Edmund Burke -- "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."


What can we do?


1. Pray. I know that sounds trite. But it's true. Only God can change the human heart - and that's where the problem lies. For all of us. I don't even know what to pray but God can take care of that, too. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26-27
So, I ask myself, am I really praying? Really??


2. Give. Yes, God is the only answer but He often involves us in the process by giving food, water, relief. Some organizations I suggest are Voice of the Martyrs, Open Door, International Mission Board SBC. These groups are getting stuff done quickly. They have missional "ground troops" that are close to the crisis and know how to respond effectively. GIVE. But give to groups that can really help. Many news sources report that the majority of the humanitarian relief provided by some outlets was unusable once it was dropped on the mountain. Give. We have so much -- too much, really - we can help significantly if we all just give.


3. Spread the word. Tell others. Keep the focus on what's happening. Perhaps the terrible slaughter of the Holocaust wouldn't have happened if people that knew what was going on had spread the word. Make sure the attention of governments and all the world is riveted on these horrifying events. Social media. Conversations at the water cooler. In the pulpit. Talk about it.


4. Contact Congress and the White House and let your horror be known. Insist that our government not allow evil to triumph by doing too little or even nothing. Humanitarian aid is insufficient. We need to rescue these people. Be their voice and be sure you get heard.


5. Do not return to normal. Pray without ceasing. Give sacrificially. Keep talking about it. Be relentless in insisting that effective action be taken.


When I read about the horrors of the Nazis or visit the Holocaust museum, I cannot grasp how this took place....while the majority of the world went about its business being normal.




What will history say about our response?




One final thought. As much as we want to believe that these evil people are uncommon, they are not. As much as we long to believe that humans are basically good, and given the right education and upbringing and governmental programs , all people will behave with civility and compassion, that's just not true. Humans are inherently bent towards evil. Apart from the intervening grace of God, every one of us is capable of committing unspeakable acts of evil. And as much as my heart cries not only for rescue of the victims but also irreversible retribution for the perpetrators, I must acknowledge that they need a Savior --- just like I do. And so I must pray for them. I must. I cannot slide back into normal. They should be stopped and brought to justice but I must not hate them.


Hate is what spawned this evil to begin with.

Hey! Ya wanna build a sand castle?

Lessons learned from the beach


We built sand castles today.   I'm glad my crew was still willing to do it - I don't think I'll ever grow tired of drizzle castles and beach moats.


We were at it for the better part of an afternoon.  Topped off riding the waves and reading on the beach.  I learned a lot from today's activities and thought I'd share.


1.  Building a pretty castle is insufficient - it needs to be protected from the sea by deep moats and wide walls.  After you spend all that time decorating it, you really hate to see it swept away in 5 minutes .


2.  If you spend all your time building the walls and digging the moats, though, you run out of time to build a pretty castle.  And pretty castles are nice.


3.  It's very helpful to build castles in pairs.


4.  And it's a lot more fun.


5.  You can waste a lot of valuable time debating castle plans.  Better to just get to work building.


6.  Wondering what passers-by think is also a waste of time.  In reality, they're probably not even paying any attention to what you're doing.  They're too busy thinking about what they are doing.


7.  Comparing your castle to the one down the beach is a waste of energy.


8.  Additional input is wonderful.  Unless you get too many chiefs and not enough Indians.


9.  Building lots of walls is a good idea. One layer after another.  Insulation.


10.  It's very gratifying to watch your work withstand the assault of the sea.  Especially castles that don't look like they're gonna make it and are even labeled "lost causes".


11.  I get tired building sand castles.
12.  When somebody that's already finished with their castle comes over to help you, it's very encouraging.  Especially if their walls are positioned in a way that lends some protection to yours.
13.  You can spend all your time documenting that you're having fun via instagram or you can just have fun.


14.  Sooner or later, the waves are gonna win.  Trenches and thick walls can hold off the attack for a while. Our construction lasted over 30 hours and still counting!  But sooner or later, every sand castle falls.  So be sure to have a lot of fun in the building!
15.  The real fun is the work, not admiring the finished product.
16.  Building lives, or parenting, is an awful lot like building sandcastles.  Except that the waves don't always wash all the evidence away.


17.  While I love building sandcastles, I've decided I'd rather build lives.  On The Rock.




But I learned a lot about the latter from the former...............


 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. ²⁵ And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. ²⁶ And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. ²⁷ And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it
Matthew 7:24-27