What does it look like to have been with Jesus?

Acts 4:13 - Now as they observed the confidence of Peter and John and understood that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were marveling and began to recognize them as having been with Jesus.

Context - Peter and John are preaching the good news of the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ. Earlier in this same chapter, we read that the Jewish leaders were “greatly annoyed”(v. 2). Instead of acknowledging the Truth and realizing that God had fulfilled His long awaited promise of the Messiah, they were bothered that their “status quo” was being disrupted. The power and prestige they enjoyed, the control they exercised over the common Jewish people, the comfort they experienced in the predictability of self-sufficiency were all threatened. Instead of a willingness to recalibrate to the Truth, they wanted to quash it.

When the religious leaders saw that hundreds upon hundreds of “their” people were embracing this “alarming” new idea, they panicked. They confronted these Apostles, roughed them up and jailed them. They conferred with each other and decided the best plan was to tell Peter and John not to talk about this anymore. (This actually makes me chuckle - some of these leaders had been present at the “trial” of Jesus and His crucifixion. They had undoubtedly heard the “rumors” that Jesus had risen from the dead and knew that His body was no longer in the tomb. The overwhelming response of “their” people to believe this “crazy” stuff was enough to alarm them…and they thought the answer would be to tell Peter and John to be quiet! Don’t you think that is hilarious???)

But in verse 4 we see truth with significant layers to it. These threatened leaders, who refused to believe, did have their eyes opened: they saw (recognized) that Peter and John had been with Jesus. These insecure, hardhearted men knew enough to realize that these men had actually been with the One they now proclaimed. They recognized that these were untrained, uneducated men - not sophisticated and learned like themselves. Yet here they were…claiming something beyond what was possible. Performing signs and wonders far above what “the experts” could do. Surely having been with Jesus was significant!

When I first read the verse, I thought about what it meant to “have been with Jesus”. What depths of truth lay therein? I knew it meant they were eyewitnesses. They had walked with Jesus, seen His miracles and heard His teachings. They had also experienced the terror of His “trial”, His beating, and His death. And they had seen the empty tomb! They saw Him, touched Him, ate with Him, and felt His love and assurance in His resurrected state.

As I pondered, I thought more about what it means to “have been with Jesus”. Yes, they saw. They heard. They believed. But the most significant thing to me is that they were transformed! They went from arrogant, self-centered men who wanted to claim their “rightful” place in the Kingdom, from weary men who just wanted to rest while Jesus prayed, from fearful, uncertain followers who fled when persecution came…to bold, confident truth tellers! No fear of man, no desire to gain anyone’s approval, no thought of the price to pay - just boldness. Humble confidence in the TRUTH of Who God is and that He will do what He says He will do. Bedrock assurance that whatever He calls us to is worth the cost. And a determination to follow wherever He leads. Godly boldness. Wow.

That’s what it looks like to “have been with Jesus.”

Is that evident in our lives today?

Just plain weary

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted Hebrews 12:3


Weary. That's what I have been tempted to be for nearly a year.


More than tired or even exhausted - "weary" seeps deeper than muscles and bones and saturates the soul. Depletes it, actually.


It's been a very full year. On top of previous full years. Culminations of joys and challenges. Of demands and disappointments. Of opportunities and setbacks. Of blessings and burdens. Personal heartaches. Ministry celebrations. Relational mountaintops and career valleys. Gains. A severe loss.


I have often felt just myself sliding into a place called weary.


On several occasions, I wanted to follow the advice of several blog posts and books that are making the rounds lately to "give yourself grace". Well intentioned I know, to provide support and encouragement during some tough spots. To offer strength for the weary and deplete soul.

But some of the advice touted in a few of the blogs and books fell flat. The theme of "give ourselves grace" stuff. While I am all for grace, (and all NOT for pretense and perfectionism) I don't think that means we wallow in our ineptitude and ask for a pass from the demands of life. I see a disturbing trend among us Church folk actually. In an attempt to stay far from the legalistic approach of rigid rule keeping in an attempt to be "super Christian", is it possible that we have fallen for an equally dangerous lie that grace means "anything goes,so take it easy on yourself"?


That's not what grace means! Grace isn't "going easy on myself" - grace is the power God gives us to do the right thing, apart from our own ability! So "giving myself grace" does not mean to remove myself from responsibilities, to give myself permission to be slack and self-indulgent, in an effort to provide an easier way for myself. Yes, there can and should be seasons of rest and refreshing but excusing myself from the disciplines of grace will not replenish my soul.


Instead, I think Hebrews 12:3 gives us the remedy for weariness. The way to cure and to prevent soul-depletion.


Consider Him.


So that I won't grow weary, consider Him.


What about Him should I consider, in order to not grow weary?


Here's what helped me during this past year - maybe it will help you, too...


1. Jesus got up early to pray. Mark 1:35 - And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed


I can already hear some protests - But I'm not a morning person! That's legalistic! I pray better when I am awake!!!! OK, take it up with Jesus. He got up early to pray. Very early while it was still dark (before or after the time change? I'm not sure).
This has been more than critical for me during these past several months, especially. Getting up early - while it is still dark - to pray.


'Nuf said.


2. Jesus cared for others, even in times of great personal stress and grief. Matthew 14 tells us of the beheading of John the Baptist and Jesus's reaction.... 10 He(Herod) sent and had John beheaded in the prison, 11 and his head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, and she brought it to her mother. 12 And his disciples came and took the body and buried it, and they went and told Jesus.
13 Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. 14 When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick. 15 Now when it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a desolate place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” 16 But Jesus said, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” 17 They said to him, “We have only five loaves here and two fish.” 18 And he said, “Bring them here to me.”


Get this picture on this - Jesus dearly loved his cousin, John. He was well aware of the significance of John's life and ministry and was undoubtedly grieved to hear of his gruesome death. He wanted some time away (oh yes I can relate!). But what happened, instead? He was followed by a needy crowd. He could have said, "hey guys, cut me some slack. John just got beheaded and I need some time alone to recharge my batteries." I feel sure that is what the books and bloggers would have advised Him to do!


But He didn't. He had compassion on them. Compassion! Not irritation. Not impatience. Not consternation - compassion! He healed the sick all day long. And then He served some more. This was the feeding of the multitudes with the loaves and fishes miracle.


All because Jesus served others instead of Himself.


The deliberate choice to serve when I wanted to be served actually has brought great joy. God is always abundantly generous to more than meet my needs and to bless me beyond measure...often from sources I didn't anticipate. Especially this past year.


3. Be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. The exhortation given in 2 Timothy 2:1-6 is a far cry from permission to cut ourselves some slack - You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, 2 and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. 3 Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. 4 No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. 5 An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. 6 It is the hard-working farmer who ought to have the first share of the crops


Suffer well.
Be a good soldier.
Aim to please Christ, not one's self.
Follow the rules. (not much space for "freely express yourself....)
Work hard.


Wow.


As I look back over the past several months particularly, I see a couple of deliberate choices that I want to share. They are fruit of the discipline of grace, of my desire to be a good soldier. These choices have brought great soul-satisfaction beyond the direct benefits they provide. Because they have required discipline (commitment and follow-through), they bore fruit that is a by-product of endurance, a benefit in and of itself. (Hebrews 12:7, 11 - It is for discipline that you endure...all discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful but sorrowful, yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.)
I already mentioned one - getting up early to spend time with the Lord Even earlier than usual so I could spend more time than normally. It's been rich.
The other habit I have practiced for these months - walking early in the morning. Just a couple of miles. In the early morning. Outside at "o'dark thirty". Even in the pouring rain. It didn't provide any weight loss like Prevention Magazine promised. It didn't deliver more energy like exercise is supposed to do. And I haven't regained my svelte 16 year old body shape (yet!) But it has yielded far more. A satisfaction that comes from being disciplined. Peaceful fruit of righteousness.


Give myself grace? The antidote to weariness?
Well, if it means to consider Jesus instead of myself well, yes, I do believe I will.