Couple of parenting tips

I recently had the opportunity to speak with a group of Moms in the early stages of parenting. I had a really good time with these young women and, if they are any indication of who’s raising this next generation, things are gonna be just fine!

Here are the three main topics we discussed:

  1. Parenting is more about what God wants to do in the parent than for the child. The scariest verse in all the Bible is found in Luke 6:40 - a student is not above his teacher but a student, when fully trained, will be like his teacher. That being the case, we must prioritize ourselves becoming like Jesus. Seeking to be transformed by the power of His Word will prove to be one of the most significant things we can do in parenting.

  2. The second most significant thing we can do is to pray. All the time. Effective righteous prayer. Luke 18 tells us And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. and then Ephesians 6:17, 18 tells us how - combining prayer with the Word of God:  and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints Asking God to do what He says in His Word is praying in accord with His will - and He tells us He will answer yes when we ask Him according to His will. Practically, we can pour out our hearts to Him, asking Him to do whatever it is that we are seeking but then yielding to His loving and divine sovereignty as Henry Blackaby puts it “here’s what I am asking for, Lord, but if You have something better in mind, just cancel my request”. Proclaiming His word for our children is effective prayer that “avails much”, as James puts it in James 5:16. Praying. Instead of fretting. All the time.

  3. One last “tip” - sometimes I hear parents feeling exasperated that the Bible doesn’t give us much instruction on parenting. Think again. What are children? They are little people! So all the instruction God gives us on how to treat people is what we use for parenting! How to discipline? Galatians 6:1 (Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.) What about when kids squabble? Matthew 5:23,24 (if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,  leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.) and try to work it out among the offended/offender first (Matthew 18:15-17 - If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.  But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector )

    Lots more instructions from Scripture that we can apply to our little people. AKA parenting!

I’d love to hear parenting tips from you!

When you fall....



In a recent conversation with a close friend, we were grieving over several families dear to us that have been in or are still in painful situations.  Most of these involved things with their children but others were marital or individual issues.  As we teared up over their various heartaches, we marveled at how every one of these friends is hanging in there.  Despite mistakes and failures, they haven't given up.




This verse came to mind -
for the righteous falls seven times and rises again,
    but the wicked stumble in times of calamity
Proverbs 24:16



My friend grinned and said "you oughta do a post on that".  I think she's right.


How are folks  able to not only "survive" but in most cases "thrive" in the midst of wayward children, financial downturns, marital crises, parental rejection, even substance abuse? Especially if there's some fault of their own that made at least some of the mess???? 
To me, that's the most painful part - feeling like I own the blame of a mess, even just part of it.  There's something actually noble about bearing up well under problems that happen "to us" ...but when we know deep down inside that this "calamity" is (at least in part)  "by us", well, it's hard to bear. 


This verse tells us that the righteous man falls seven times - I can certainly identify with that!  Probably more the "seventy times seven"!  Boy, can I relate to the falling.  I have days weeks months where I feel, at best misunderstood, at worst, like I have offended every person in my path.  I don't know how you react when you "fall" but I often hear the whisper of temptation to "give up".  To just quit trying, because obviously, I can't get it right! 


What does the righteous woman do, though?  Yes, she falls, but she gets back up.


When calamity (aka - problems and failures) knocks us down, we have two options.
  One is to stay in the stumble.


The other is to get back up and try again.


What does that look like?


Here's some thoughts for today -
1.  Admit you fell. 
If calamity knocks you down, you can't get up unless you realize you fell in the first place. 
2.  Accept the responsibility that belongs to you.
While we're not responsible for everything that happens, we need to own our own falling. No blaming others.
3. Figure out what tripped you up.
If #2 wasn't humbling enough, this should help!!! 
Don't wallow in the failure with a pity party and don't figure all problems since the dawn of time are attributable to you - ask for input and insight and stick to the Truth.
4.  Purpose to try anew - "rise again".  Ask God what a "new try" looks like and then do it.
This verse tells us that the righteous and the wicked both fall....but the only mention of getting up belongs to the righteous.


I don't know what your "calamity" looks like today.  But my prayer is that you'll rise again.  Please don't quit.  Take a breather for a minute if you need replenishing, but please don't quit.  Don't give up on that child or that spouse or that friend...or yourself.