Living Stones

There are some folks with whom I meet, regularly and intentionally, to encourage one another in our pursuit to become more like Jesus.  The church body that I call home, a small group of women, a group of married couples, and some close friends that know me (and still love me!) all are part of God’s blessed design to strengthen my faith, mold me into Christlikeness, and overall to enjoy following Him together. One of the groups I belong to was reading an assigned passage together and it struck me in a fresh way.  Ephesians 2:19-22 says ”So then you are no longer strangers and aliens,but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God,  built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone,  in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.”

You’ve probably read those verses hundreds of times, as I have, but one little phrase stood out to me. “Being fitted together”.  What does it mean to be fitted together?

The phrase conveys the meaning of smoothing out an edge here, rubbing off an edge there, so that two pieces can be joined in construction, dovetailed, coordinated, harmonized.  “Fitted together” is different from “piled up together” or even “seated together”. It implies change, adjustments, connections, contributions, modifications. All done in order to accomplish an intended design.

Since I Peter 2:5 calls us “living stones”, it is helpful to include that as we apply this verse.  Think of an accumulation of stones, piled upon the Rock, Jesus Christ our Cornerstone. Being randomly stacked together is much like the folks I see on my regular trips to Kroger, especially Stephanie, my favorite checkout clerk. We smile and chat and are glad to see one another but there is nothing required to “fit together”. Sort of like Christians visiting around churches but never settling on one.

Or we can be closely aligned (but still not “fitted together”). Such as the great group of folks I do step class with at St Marys Wellness Center.  They are my friends, my workout buddies, and absolutely precious people.  We are even all pretty committed to our wellness routines!  But not “fitted together”. The most required of us amongst ourselves is to arrange our step benches so that we all can fit. Kind of like regular attenders at church….no real commitment or change required.

So what does it mean to be “living stones”,  “fitted together”, as the apostles Peter and Paul exhort us? First, we cannot skip over Christ as our Cornerstone.  This “stone which the builders rejected” is of primary importance. He is our foundation (holds us secure) , blueprint (for the dwelling place of God), and our purpose(to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God). Without Him, we are just meaningless rocks – not living stones!

Not only are we built upon Christ, He also intends for us to be “fitted together” with one another. This means we have been designed to not be a solitary rock, nor piled up randomly,  nor even to lie close beside other living stones.  Rather we are to be customized in order to be a useful piece in the overall structure. Beginning with our original motif (our gifts and talents), we progress through shaping and sharpening(sanctification) so that we mesh perfectly with other living stones for the sake of becoming a beautiful and beneficial display of the glory of God. “Fitted together” means we must be in committed community with other “living stones”. Not just enjoying church, not only regularly attending, not even only being a church member. Instead, it is being committed to a local group of believers with whom we can learn and grow and serve and change …”fitted together”.

This is how we are able to display to the world the essence of who God is, edify other believers, and become conformed to the image of The Cornerstone, Jesus Christ. I hope you will commit yourself to be “fitted together” for Him.

Obedience in the "little" things...

Titus 3:1-5 - Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed, to malign no one, to be uncontentious, gentle, showing every consideration for all men. For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, haring one another. But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit.

This is such a rich passage, chock full of glorious truth and clear instructions on our behavior. I must’ve read it a zillion times. And checked off all the “little things” I should remember to do.

But I read it recently and a couple of phrases jumped off the page. “Malign no one” and “showing every consideration for all men” Maybe these things are not so little after all. Unpack them with me …

“Malign no one” - what does that mean? To “badmouth” someone. To speak of them critically behind their back. To make them look inferior in someone else’s eyes.

WOW.

“Showing every consideration for all men” The dictionary defines “consideration” as “thoughfulness and sensitivity toward others”. And Scripture makes it quite inclusive - “every” and “all”. Well, that pretty much covers it!

WOW again.

These “little” phrases that are so easy to read quickly and pass over - how does God want us to see them? Probably not so casually.

I don’t know how they strike you, but as they jumped off the page to me, the Holy Spirit brought some things to my mind that didn’t measure up to this standard. I thought of times I had spoken of someone critically, behind their back. Times my actions had not be thoughtful of others’ needs/desires but instead were insensitive and considering only ME. And undoubtedly caused angst or pain to others.

GULP

I probed my heart and wondered why I had acted that way…and what did I need to course correct.

At the root of it all, I think, is pride. A desire to make myself look significant (or at least more significant than the object of my criticism). A mindset that considers my own needs/wants before others. Because I consider myself as more deserving. Consumed with self.

How do I (and you, if these phrases happen to jump out at you as well) repent from this? And “do right”?

It’s interesting that the lecture I was giving myself was quite stern. I was chiding myself and rightly so. But as I read this passage again, I saw that God takes a different approach. Oh, no mistake about it - He does not tolerate sin. He insists that we not treat these behaviors as “little” and thereby dismiss them.

But instead of shaking His finger at us and giving us a terse (yet well-deserved) fussing, what does He do?

For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, haring one another. But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit.

He gently but truthfully reminds us of our past. Of what we, too, are capable of. And when we remember that, maybe we will be less inclined to criticize others of the same things. Then, He directs our hearts towards His kindness. He has every right to be mad at us but instead He reminds us of His love through Jesus. Of our salvation which we received through no merit of our own but only because of the kindness He shows us in Christ.

WOW.

That is powerful.

For transformation. And as example.

Turns out those “little things” aren’t so little, after all.

From an older woman...

3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled  Titus 2:3-5




I am officially an older woman.
And I take this exhortation seriously.
So I want to share my heart on how I see these principles applied in the lives of women today...

First, for us older women:


1. Reverent behavior - While there can undoubtedly be some variations in how "reverent behavior" manifests itself in different women, there is no doubt that reverence will be displayed as dignity,self-control, and respect.  Action and attitudes that are obnoxious, narcissistic, or demanding are not appropriate (for anyone but especially not one who should bear the grace of maturity)
2.  Not slanderers - Slander: malicious injury to the reputation of another.  There are lots of ways to accomplish that.  Outright false stories or subtle insinuations...all intended to tear down another person.  Isn't it interesting that Scripture prohibits "slander" with the same weight as that against "slave to much wine"?  Sadly, much damage has been done to The Church, The Body, and the cause of Christ as a result of unwise tongues.  And, let's be honest, girls, most of the time, the slanderous talking has come from our gender. 
3.  Not enslaved to much wine - pretty straightforward. 
4.  Teaching what is good.  And then those good instructions that are to be transmitted to the younger generations are explained...


Younger women:
1.  Love husband, love children.  I personally found it not merely encouraging but actually a huge relief that this trait is to be taught, ie it doesn't come naturally!  But it can be learned.  Hallelujah!  So I am not an abject failure if there are times I feel like I'm struggling in practicing love towards the folks I actually love the most!
2. Self-controlled - in our words and our ways.  Just because we feel it doesn't mean we have to say it.  And just because we think it doesn't mean we have to do it.  Self-control. A multitude of problems - for ourselves and our families and everyone around us - can be avoided if we women would practice self-control.
3  Pure - unpolluted, free from impurities.  In our dress, our speech, and our mannerisms.  What we look at, listen to, where we go, and what we do.  Not vulgarity.  Nor coarseness.  Nor indecencies.  Purity.
4.  Working at home - I don't think this prohibits women from having a paying job outside the home but with all my heart I do believe that Scripture clearly lays out for us married women that home is the #1 priority.  Taking care of our home  (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) takes precedence over work, recreation, other relationships and even ministry.  I feel this so strongly that I cannot overstate it.  If we women are so busy pursuing friendships, fun, or even faith-based activities that we neglect our homes, then we are failures. 
5.  Kind - wow.  Of all the Christlike adjectives that Scripture could've used, "kind" is the word of choice.  That's powerful.  Kindness is powerful.  It's the kindness of God that leads men to repentance. If a woman wants to wield some power, this trait is the most effective weapon.  Kindness.  Not assertiveness.  Not argumentation. Not manipulation.  Kindness.
6.  Submissive to their husbands - I know that word rattles some cages but I think it's because we don't know what it means.  It's a term that means "to place in an orderly fashion" . Scripture doesn't tell husbands that they are to require submission - instead, we wives are told to subject ourselves.  Big difference.  Submission doesn't mean unilateral rule at all.  It means I voluntarily arrange my priorities around my husband.  I employ my gifts and talents to complement his and together we form a united team. I lay down my life to serve Christ by serving my family - that's submission.  And that brings joy. 


Make no mistake about it - the powers and principalities of this world have launched an all-out assault on this type of woman.  From all points, we are lured into mirages that deceptively promise happiness and fulfillment and satisfaction.  We are brainwashed to think that such things are our "right".  But these don't deliver what they promise. And when we follow them, we become discouraged.  And exhausted.  And disillusioned. 


And God's Word is misunderstood and disparaged by those who observe our lives.  


But
when we wives and Mommies find our joy in loving our families well, when our energy and talents are prioritized into making our homes a place of refuge and happiness and security, when our lives are characterized by moral purity, integrity, and kindness....well, then the Word of God will be read accurately in living color by everyone we meet.