Learning to gain victory over depression/anxiety. A very real war. A very hard fight. But I want you to know it is winnable! It is most definitely winnable! The things we will look at in this series are not exhaustive nor a one-size-fits-all. But I think it needs to be said that the pervading perspective of one in the pit of depression or in the grips of anxiety is hopelessness and misplaced uniqueness. By that I mean, when we are paralyzed by an unhealthy mental state, we cannot see clearly. We (wrongly) fear this is a permanent state and we (wrongly) believe that our situation is different and therefore beyond the scope of being helped by things that have helped others. That falls into the category of fragility of soul.
Let us expound on that….
Remember last week we emphasized the importance of assessing our physiological well-being in order to discern how our soul is being affected by the state of our body. Today, we are plunging into the soul! And I am not attempting to be gentle or PC or anything like that because when someone is alone in a deep pit, a gentle voice won’t talk them out. What is needed is cold water to rouse them and a strong rope they can hold onto and be helped out. But make no mistake about it - no one will get out of the pit unless they want to. Another cannot drag them out against their will. We can support and truth-tell and be present but the coming out belongs to the one in the pit. (And here let me insert the caution NOT to use depression/anxiety as a means to wound or control others. That would be an entire series! But suffice it to say that, perhaps without intention, one can leverage this state, especially fragility, as a way to get others to do one’s bidding…or to “get back” at them, period. That will NOT lift the depression. So let’s all beware)
And to get out, they must forsake the fragility of their soul.
I am not talking about being cold and hard-hearted but I am talking about resolve and strength and resilience. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s talk more about this fragility.
Fragility of soul is weakness, lack of strength. It can be made worse by a traumatic event but I don’t believe that trauma is the CAUSE. Traumatic events happen to plenty of folks who don’t wind up in depression. The cause is a soul that believes it was never strong or resilient or determined enough to withstand trauma. That can often be attributed to never learning to fail well, being protected from all negative events/consequences, developing unhealthy fears about loss of safety or well-being, relishing being coddled more than conquering. Preferring that “the road be prepared for you rather than you being prepared for the road”. This is not an attempt to place blame on parents (but we can all be instructed about the danger of parenting this way) because this is often a personality default rather than a parenting fail.
And in the event that traumatic events occur (and they happen to some degree or another to everyone), a fragile soul cannot withstand it. Fears and anxiety spread in this soul like a cancer. What starts as a normal fear of , for example, losing a parent (or spouse or child) spirals into fears that cannot be attributed to anything. Panic. Desperation. Eventually depression. The physiological manifestations are real - increased heart rate, difficulty breathing, profuse sweating. But they stem from the battle in the mind.
A fragile soul feels helpless and hopeless. While not being able to articulate or even understand what makes them afraid, they fear the feelings are permanent. Wildly untrue thoughts begin to bombard them until they cannot separate fact from fiction. They inwardly scream “I can’t” at themselves over and over and over.
If we think fragility of soul is an issue for ourselves or someone else, how can that be addressed? Can it be healed? Can weak souls become strong? YES!
will take time like exercise
Cognitive behavioral therapy (while I am sure this is a complex counseling tool to be studied and learned, Jonathan Haidt in his book Coddling of the American Mind includes a synopsis of what it means and how to do it yourself at the end of his book. Highly recommend)
word of God (I Thessalonians 2:13, 2 Peter 1:3)
eat fruit of our lips ( Proverbs 13:2,3) speak TRUTH and visualize victory
read stories of overcoming adversity (I Peter 5:9) Others have overcome - so can you!
professional help for healing from trauma
exercise - strengthen body as you strengthen soul
That is enough for this week. And perhaps this is the most difficult concept to embrace. But if one wants to gain victory over depression/anxiety, this is most helpful. And please reach out if you want some support and encouragement. I am here. <3