Less is More - Declutter

If you have a perfectly organized and clutter-free home, this post does not apply to you.  So fee free to skip it.  And message me privately -- I need your expertise!

For the rest of us, this idea can be applied repeatedly. In numerous places.  On an ongoing basis.  Should  be.

One of the greatest steps towards living with less is to recognize where you have excess.  And then to get rid of it.  (and then not to replace it....but that's another post....) 

Go into your den (or living room or family room or whatever name you call the place with the couch and TV).  Take two plastic grocery bags with you.  Find at least 15 things that you can give away or throw away.  (Giveaways in one bag, throwaways in the other).  You can even count individual pieces of paper  (this time!).  Get rid of it.  Put the throwaway bag in the trash.  Duh.  Put the giveaway bag in your car and promise me you will take it to Goodwill or somewhere out of your home.  Transferring stuff from one child's room to the other does not qualify as cleaning up.  That is transferring.  'Nuff said.

This will take you less than 10 minutes and I hope you enjoyed yourself because I plan to repeat this activity a few more times. 

Less clutter means more sanity!  I promise!!!

One final note.  And sort of a preview for tomorrow's post.  I think that learning to spend less has more to do with our "want to" than our "know how".  More than ever before, the resources for knowing ways to cut costs are available to us literally at the tip of our fingers.  If we really want to spend less, we can.  Just a little motivation to finish the task for today.  And the remainder of this month.  And the rest of your life....

My story, more or less

My story is like alot of other folks, maybe even yours.  But since you have tuned in to Living Letters, I get to share mine with you. 


In 1984, I finished graduate school and started a great job with an even greater company.  They were kind and generous enough to give me great opportunities repeatedly. (Side note - if you ever read this, David Salyers and Steve Robinson, I thank you!!)  I was climbing the corporate ladder and the perks were rolling in.  In 1986, I married the man I absolutely could not live without.  He was - and is - my best friend, my hero, my rock.  Together, we were the classic DINKS.  For those of you born after 1980, that is "Double income, no kids".  Although we didn't live extravagantly (just because we are rather simple folks), we were very far from frugal and budget-conscious.  We just didn't think we needed to be. Sigh.

I pause to shudder at the income we wasted, the savings we forfeited, the investments (temporal AND eternal) we neglected.

Continue the story.

Two years later, our lives improved significantly.  We had our first child.  While I was expecting, I checked out daycare, got the nursery ready, and believed the myths about what all you need when you have a baby.  We spent big bucks. 

I stayed home for four months and decided I didn't want the daycare option after all.  But we were not prepared to live on one income so we hired a nanny and I trotted back to work.  And the financial opportunities continued to increase.  And we continued to spend. One expenditure I do NOT regret was that nanny.  I loved having Katie with her in her own environment.  It made it easier for me and it was worth whatever we paid her.  (And Dianne Stowers, if you ever read this, you were my lifesaver and I can never thank you enough!)

After a few months of juggling Mommy-hood and executive demands, I decided our lives would be saner if I could just do one or the other.  I didn't want to give Katie back so I knew the job needed to go.  Paul agreed. 

We didn't pull the plug immediately.  We made a plan.  We can up with an amount that we thought we needed for a cushion and decided that whenever we could manage to stash that away, I would quit.  I suddenly became very frugal and budget-conscious.

21 months after Katie arrived, I got the ultimate promotion.  I left the corporate world to be a SAH Mom.  And I have never ever ever ever regretted it.  Next to Jesus and marrying Paul, it is the single best decision of my life. 

What makes my story perhaps a little bit unique is the percentage income we gave up so I could be at home.  At that time, I was contributing 2/3 of our income.  So when I quit, we then lived on 33% of what we had formerly.  The figures are correct.  I was being paid twice what Paul was being paid at the time.  So we cut our income by 66%. Not TO 66%,  BY 66%,  All at once.

That is a significant drop. It caused me to begin a lifestyle of frugality and resourcefulness that is ongoing.  And my husband became my even greater hero. He shouldered the responsibility of providing for us, adding a part-time job for several years to his already demanding executive role, just to keep me at home.  From time to time, I have done some consulting on the side to bring in a little cash but the vast majority of our finances are Paul's responsibility. 

We made alot of mistakes in those early years. As we learned, we made adjustments.  Frankly, I am not sure we were even conscious that we were converting to a lifestyle of frugality -- we were just continuously on the lookout for ways to reduce costs.   I wish we could have a do-over with what we know now.  But somehow we made it.  And remained committed to one another.  And managed to have some fun in the process!

Even now, we don't consider ourselves to be living on Easy Street. (Hmmmm, actually we are.  Everything is relative and compared to the way 90% of the world lives, uh, yeah, we got it made).  But in the minds of most Americans, we will never recover what we gave up.  If I had stayed in my job, we would be in the top 1% of the income bracket with our dual incomes..  Many people would concur with what Paul's boss said at the time of my departure from the corporate world - she knew what Paul made and had an idea of what I was raking in - "Paul, you should stay home and she should work!  Time will tell if this is the right decision!"  In some respects, we will never recover what we forfeited.  I get that.  But, in our opinion, if I had not come home, we could never have gained what we did.

Please know that in NO WAY do I think this is the move everyone should make.  I was a working Mom and I understand where some of you are.  Some of you may want to make the leap that Paul and I did but can't.  I understand completely.  Some of you may NOT want to make that leap.  I understand, too.  (Trust me, there are plenty of days I think it would be easier to pull on pantyhose and head to the office!!)  But, for us, time has indeed favored our decision.  We have never ever EVER regretted it.

And our determination to live a more frugal lifestyle has been an adventure that I wouldn't have missed for the world! 

Less is More -

Less is more.  Less clothes means more closet space!  Having a closet that is not crammed or crowded is quite frankly a great idea.  Being able to find that certain shirt...and find that it isn't wrinkled from being jammed between other things...makes for a pleasant start to the day.  Even just looking at an organized display of clothes sends pleasurable signals to the brain!

Here's the first step to getting there - today, January 1, take 10 minutes and turn all your clothes hangers backwards.  Yes, that's right.  Turn them around to the "wrong way".  Then, as you wear that item and replace it in your closet (whether or not you clean it before replacing is up to you!), turn it back "right".  At the end of 2013, check out all the clothes you didn't wear this year.  The hangers will tell the tale.  Then toss them out of your closet. Immediately.  (Letting them "hang around" won't help your closet! You've lived a year without needing those items so you can let them go.  Less is more!)

Tomorrow, I'll share my story.  My quest of a life full of more because of less.  What started me on the journey to begin with.  And, remember, I will not be posting links to the January blog on FB daily.  Less is more :)

In the process of turning the hangers around, feel free to get rid of anything before the end of the year.  Ask youself if you really really really need 11 black shirts....

Introducing...Less is More - 31 Days towards living with less

Less is More.  31 Days towards living with less.

We just finished Christmas.  I clearly hear a collective sigh of relief.  At least until the bills come in!  Most of us probably received a lot of "stuff" that we don't need, "stuff" that purposes to derail our attempts to declutter our homes...and lives.  And many of us gave some stuff that creates the same chaos in someone else's home!

January is such a great time to focus our attention and energy on a new start.  Lose weight, exercise regularly, clean up messes, get organized.  These are good ideas but resolutions aren't what I have in mind for us this month.  Instead, let's look at specific ways to get rid of our excess (in lots of different areas) , loosen the stranglehold that materialism has on our hearts, and set the example of contentment with less instead of more. 

Each day, I will post an idea of living with less.  Getting rid of clutter.  Recipes.  Tips on money and time management.  Thoughts on encouraging contentment in our kids.  I hope this will be an exchange of ideas - in other words, please share yours with me! 

We probably won't solve world hunger by January 31.  We may not even solve the hunger for more in our own hearts.  But, maybe we'll take a step in the right direction.  Maybe February will see us with less.  Less of what isn't necessary.  And more of what makes life worthwhile!

Oh, and if you want to get these daily, you need to subscribe.  I won't be posting daily tips on facebook.

Notes to the Living Letters, sequel

I had a long shower today so I was able to ponder some more things I want to be sure to tell the children.  Maybe this will be exhaustive.  But I doubt it...I will have things to tell them until I die.  And even then, I will probably leave some written instructions!!


26.  Don't be a perfectionist.  It's not impressive.  Rather, "perfectionism" is prideful, pathetic, and can even be an excuse for a lack of discipline.  Get the job done.
27.  Do the best you can - given all circumstances of the moment.  Every cheesecake won't be your prettiest, every game won't always be your highest scoring, and every test won't be 105.  Because sometimes the weather won't cooperate, you are gonna get sick, and there will be simultaneous multiple demands on you.  So just do the best you can, given all the circumstances of the moment.
28.  You are going to fail sometimes.  (see #27) When you do, don't wallow in it.  Don't feel sorry for yourself or make excuses or beat yourself up.  Failure is part of life.  Get over it.  And be the better for it.
29.  Don't expect to live on your past successes.  Just like you need to get over your failures, get over your successes.  You have to keep doing a good job, over and over again.  That's life.  Be grateful for the opportunity.
30.  Attitude is everything.  Somebody once said "attitude determines your altitude".  That's true.  You can't control what happens to you but you can - and you must - control your response to it.  If you trust in God's loving sovereignty, confident that He is working all things for your good, then you will have a positive attitude about whatever happens to you.  This is not a denial of reality (some things are just plain HARD and painful).  But it is an embracing of the impact attitude can have.  Make yours good.
31.  Traditions matter.  You don't have to be a slave to the ones that don't matter but be willing to develop some, adhere to them, attach meaning to them, and enjoy them.  It will be interesting to see which of our family traditions stick.  I hope, after I am gone, that at least one of you will continue to pray for those folks that send us Christmas cards.  And put up the "happy birthday" sign on 12/12, 3/6, 8/1, and 3/11.  And get out the red plate.  And make Chambers Christmas Jam every December.
32. When you don't know what to do, just do the next thing.  Whatever it is, just do the next thing.  And always do the right thing.  Then it will fall in place.  Like pieces of a puzzle, it will fall in place.  You will most likely not know what the whole picture will look like at the outset but if you just do the next thing - the right thing - it will fit together.
33.  Work hard.  Do the hard things first.  Don't procrastinate and don't be lazy. Remember the ant. But also...
34.  Go to Krispy Kreme when the "HOT" light is on.  And to DQ late at night.  Don't just work hard - relax sometimes.  If you work hard first, then you can enjoy relaxing more.
35.  Don't talk about what you have done.  "Let another praise you and not your own lips".
36.  Ask other people about themselves.  And then listen.  Really listen.  Don't just wait for a pause in the conversation so you can talk about yourself.
37. Remember that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy dies from it.  You are going to be wronged in this life - let it go. 
38.  You are going to receive help and goodness from many people all through your life -- never forget it.  Always say thank you - again and again. 
39. As you have received, also give.  People that you can't help have blessed you -- see to it that you bless people that can't help you. That's God's economy.  It's always good. 
40.  Play to your strengths and staff to your weaknesses.  Develop your gifts, use them well, and find others to help you where you aren't gifted.  That's a mutually beneficial relationship!
41.  Be careful about what you put in your mind.  Music and movies and media.  Be careful.
42.  Look people in the eyes when you talk to them.  Every time.  Whether they are 2 years old or the President or the clerk at WalMart or your significant other.  Look them in the eyes.
43.  Don't try to impress other people. ESPECIALLY not with stuff!!  Strive to be a pleaser of God, not of men.  He's the one that counts. And not just in the end.
44.  Take responsibility.  Leaders take the initiative to accept responsibility.  Don't shirk it.  And certainly don't blame somebody else.  Take responsibility.
45. Be gracious and kind.  Even if someone thinks it's "just a Southern thing", be gracious.
46.  Defend the defenseless.  Stick up for the person that gets picked on or left out or is just plain odd.  Whatever you do to the least of these, you are doing to Jesus.
47.  Take care of your health.  You inherit some things like heart disease and diabetes and high blood pressure from both sides so take care of your health. Eat alot of veggies and exercise.  Starting now.
48.  You are gonna get some bumps in life.  Sometimes it may be more like a tsunami.  There will be hurts and disappointments and uncertainties.  In times like those, remember that I love you completely.  You can't do anything that will make me love you any less or any more than I already do.  You are mine and I am eternally grateful for that privilege.  I think you four are the greatest people in the world.  If you weren't my kid, I would wish that you were.  I love you.
49.  Ask your Dad for advice.  Always.
50.  Call your Mom.