What I don't do

Sometimes I'm asked "how do you do it all?".  A couple of times recently I've had requests for a post on how I balance all I do and how I manage to "get it all done".  So I'm responding.

I will share some tips that help me be more productive and efficient..
.later.  But first I want to call attention to the primary truth - I don't  do it all.  First, I'm going to share some of the (many) good things that I don't do.  Some things I want to do but can't right now. 

I don't work out for an hour every day at the gym.  OK, confession - this one I don't want to do!! But I know it's a good thing.  And I heartily applaud those who do.  What I can manage is 20 minutes on the treadmill 4-6 times each week.  I know some of you are splitting your sides with laughter over how pathetic this is.  I know.  It is.  But it's what I can commit to do and for a year I've sustained. For the sake of blood sugar and cholesterol control, it's what I can do.  I have done a couple of outside my home programs that I loved and hated to give up but, for time's sake and considering the fact that I have workout equipment in my basement already, I did.

I don't have 20 children.  I have only 4 and only two are still at home.  I wish I had more.  I admire my friends with 6 and 7 and 8 and 9 and 11.  But, candidly, when I was in the stage of having babies, I lacked the faith to believe I could have any more.  I felt more than overwhelmed.  Funny thing is, I still do.  No matter how many are at home or how many I had at the time, parenting always makes me feel overwhelmed, more than I can handle.  I actually think that's God's design.  We can't parent the way He calls us to.  So we are pressed to Him, ever aware of our inadequacy, of our desperate need for Him.  Still, having only four and having just two at home now does free me up to do some things (like write and teach Bible studies) that I probably wouldn't attempt if I had 20.  Sure would be fun to have just two more, though.......

I do homeschool but I don't do it all myself.  When my kids hit middle school, I take advantage of outside resources.  I am blown away by the women who successfully teach calculus and physics on their own but I consider myself blessed that tutors exist to supplement my educational efforts. BTW - I don't consider it a litmus test of spirituality to homeschool.  I absolutely love it and am daily grateful that God called me to it.  If you don't feel this bubbling up inside you (although I do admit to having "quit" numerous times and calling the "principal" to "fix his children") then probably you aren't called.  No big.  Once, a precious friend made the comment about my "having to homeschool" and I nearly came unglued.  I don't HAVE TO HOMESCHOOL -- I GET TO!!!!!

I don't cook gourmet meals nor grind my own wheat.  Both of which are wonderful things to do.  I just don't do them.  Something on the table at mealtime is my goal.  And we have lots of CORD.  (That would be "clean out refrigerator day").  I learned from my daughter's dear MIL that YOYO is a lovely and highly commendable entree...."you're on your own"!!!!
 
I don't decorate my house.  Because I don't know how!!!  If it weren't for a couple of treasured friends, I would have no idea what color to paint my walls or what light fixtures are appropriate.  Some of you might get lovely ideas from Pinterest but, for me, well, my home is not pinnable. :)

I haven't been called to adopt or foster.  Now I firmly believe that God calls us to help the orphans (and the widows) but I just as firmly believe that He assigns different roles to us all.  I often provide financial and practical help to those whom He calls to house them, all the while recognizing and appreciating the vast difference in their role of 24/7...forever.

I don't spend an hour each day in Bible study.  Some days, honestly, I do.  But some days, honestly, I don't.  I get a quick glance at the verse-a-day calendar and ask God to make it stick in my heart. 

I don't scrapbook. I don't know what else to say about that except I admire those who do.  My children may need counseling when they grow up.  Especially Betsy whose baby book consists of things stuffed in a shoebox.  Oh well.

I don't work outside the home for pay.  I have before and it's hard to get dinner on the table and laundry done and floors mopped and baths done and little hearts filled after work.  So I didn't.  I opted for baths and hearts and let the rest go.  (Still do that sometimes and I don't have an outside job!!!)

I don't serve in the community.  My husband does but I don't.  While he's out saving the world, I am home cleaning and mending his cape.  Works for us.

Along the same lines, I am not extremely involved in lots of kids' activities.  I would flunk at being room Mom.  That's probably why God called me to homeschool.  Back to "YOYO".....

I don't do crafts.  That's not to say I'm not crafty LOL!

At this time, I am not leading a discipleship group.  I love discipleship groups (I think some of my SQUASH-ers might read this -- I love you and miss you and am grateful for times we have together! And if you don't know what "SQUASH" is, well, it's our secret!!) but right now I am teaching a large-type Bible study and my husband said "no" to discipleship group right now.  He is the gatekeeper of my schedule and our lives would be a wreck otherwise.  Because I don't ever want to say no.

I don't clean much.  Seriously.  My house is "picked up" b/c I don't like clutter but "clean" is a different story.  When I read stuff about cleaning baseboards and ceiling fans and the like, well, I just stop reading.  My goal is for you to not need to be up to date on your tetanus booster when you come to visit.  Or to trip over the trash bags.  But white glove standard, I'm not.  This saves me lots of time.  In spite of the fact that my son has dust mite allergies......I think I'd best not apply for Mom of the year!

In another post, I will share some things that do help me be productive and more efficient and while this list of what I don't do is not complete, it's long enough to give you the idea.  I don't "do it all".  I don't do a lot of things that those asking the question do.  No one "does it all".  But we all have all the time we need to do what God has called us to do.

Love for the Living Letters

If you have read many of my posts, you know that I spell "LOVE"  "F-O-O-D" .  By no means am I a gourmet cook, or even a great one!, but I love to love folks with food.  And, like all families, mine has some favorite dishes that I prepare for us and that I want to pass down to my offspring.  And if you like to try new easy recipes, then you are welcome to check these out.  I am just beginning to compile our favs so the plan is to add to this link over time.  But I have been planning to do this for months and I figured the best way to get it done was just to begin.  Then I'll eventually get it done.

Hope you enjoy....and I'd love it if you would share some of the recipes that you use to love on your family!!

Click here to download Love for My Living Letters.   I'll let you know as I add to the collection in the future!

No missing pieces

I was playing with my grandson, Jonathan, on the floor today.  We were having the best time!  (Primarily because he is so handsome and extremely smart and winsome and obedient and....well, you get the idea).  One of our toys was one of those wooden peg / hammer things.  You know what I mean - the colored pegs fit into nice snug holes and you can hammer them in. And out.  And in.  And out.  Again. And again.  It's a lot of fun.

Except that we have misplaced one of the pegs.  That empty hole doesn't bother Jonathan too much but it drives me crazy.  I keep looking under furniture, on the porch, in the toy box, trying frantically to locate that missing peg.  No such luck.

As I crawled around on the floor, I pondered my peculiar obsession against missing pieces.  I don't like incomplete puzzles.  Or unattractively mismatched china.  Or broken door handles. Or light bulbs that need replacing.  Or holes in my screen door. Or books with the covers torn off.  Or toys without all their proper attachments.  Shabby chic, I like.  Missing pieces - not so much.

This quirk of my personality is probably a physical manifestation of my emotional state.  I prefer Hallmark movies to horror flicks.  Fairy tales to reality shows.  And I surely do wish that "happily ever after" applied to here and now.  My heart is broken continually over Mommies that get cancer...and Mommies who leave their children willingly.  Over Daddies who valiantly serve their country across the ocean from their families....and Daddies who selfishly abandon their families in hopes of something better. Over children lost to seasons of life...or devastating decisions...or the grave.    Over babies who need a home....and  scared would-be Moms who are not given hope and encouragement and support.  Over marriages that break....and especially over the partner left crying with the glue in her hand, hoping for one last chance to try and fix it.   Over families and friends hurt by sin....and over the sinner that needs fixing in all of us.

I want so badly for life to go well all the time for all of us. I don't like it when it doesn't.  I don't like it when things don't fit right.  I want all the puzzle pieces to be there and make the picture complete. 

I have yet to find that missing peg.  But, as I searched through the dust bunnies under the sofa, the Holy Spirit reminded me that, in the midst of lost puzzles pieces, and AWOL people, and broken hearts, "In HIM all things hold together"  Colossians 1:17.  And when life's more like a horror film than a Hallmark movie, He will hold onto me.  And you.  And He will hold us together.  Amen

Grief Observed

Though the fig tree should not blossom,

nor fruit be on the vines,

the produce of the olive fail

and the fields yield no food,

the flock be cut off from the fold

and there be no herd in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord;

I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

 God, the Lord, is my strength;

he makes my feet like the deer's;

he makes me tread on my high places.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

 

Yesterday I went to see a friend who suddenly and tragically lost her 18 year old son.  I went, bearing food, knowing I had no words that could help but hoping to minister to her just the same.

 

Instead, I was on the receiving end and she did the ministering.

 

Let me share some things I observed while visiting just a short while:

 

 

1.  I saw the Body of Christ in action.  This family is part of an intensely close extended family that has seen more than their "fair share" of troubles.  Through it all, including this time, they have stuck together and have not wavered in their commitment to Christ.  They hurt, they grieve, but they stay the course.  And they were all there, comforting each other, serving each other, leaning on each other.  Together.  Operating as He intends the Body to operate.  It was amazing.

 

2.  If I were in their shoes, I think for sure I would want to lock myself away in my room, crawl under the covers and curl up in a fetal position for days.  Instead, they themselves answered the door, welcomed me in, and allowed me to share in their grief.  Their sharing eased my own burden.

 

3.  Tears flowed and voices choked but there was such grace and dignity to their grief.  No thrashing or wailing or unrestrained sorrow.  They are hurting - absolutely.  And hurt they should.  This is every Mom's nightmare - to bury a child.  But these folks do not grieve as those who have no hope.  They know that their son is in the presence of the Lord and that they will see him again one day.  And they also know that, as unbearable as it feels, God will grant them the grace to live the rest of their lives, to raise the rest of their children, to His glory.  Their humble confidence showed.

 

4.  They were able not only to talk about what happened and details of the next few days but they also freely shared good memories and sweet times, blessings they had experienced.  Then, to my amazement, they began asking about my own family!!  Encouraging me with kind words about my husband, and my children, telling me how much we meant to them.  Asking me to pray for certain folks who would be so devastated by this loss and others who need to embrace the Lord that they were leaning on even now.  Can you believe that???  If there's ever a time we could expect to get a pass on being others-focused, this would certainly exceed those requirements.  Yet, here they were, esteeming others more than themselves.

 

I walked back to my car with the friend I came with and we couldn't control the tears of amazement at what we had just experienced.  We went to minister.  We left having been ministered unto.

 

My friend had no time for a crash course in "correct grief experiences".  There were no months of preparation or warning that debilitating loss was just around the corner.  She didn't get up from the dinner table and decide to handle everything "just so".  Without any warning, she was thrust into the center of insurmountable devastation. 

 

 

So, how can she possibly handle this so amazingly?  Is she some kind of super woman?  Is she delusional?  Can you and I ever hope to handle such undesirable pain in such an amazing way?

 

Well, what I experienced at my friend's house was the result of a life-long practice of drawing water from the wells of salvation.  When the bucket of tragedy went down into their lives, it brought up tears, for sure, but also sweet sweet waters of blessing that spilled out on all us that got close.  This gal has walked with Jesus, faithfully, through pain and sorrow, through disappointment and problems.  And through the ordinary days.  When there was nobody there to take note, she was faithful.  Her practice of loving God's Word, obeying it, serving Him and others, were like a well endowed trust fund that had ample supply for her to withdraw in time of need.

 

I don't know what's around the corner for you or for me.  But I pray that we are living right now so that when the fig tree doesn't blossom and there is no fruit on the vine, when the olive plants fail and there is no livestock to count on, that we will be well rehearsed in the practice of rejoicing in the Lord of our salvation.  And we will find Him as our strength, our joy, and our provider.

 

Amen.  God bless the Terpins and the Brannons.  Amen.

Breakfast at Suzie's

After the last post which mentioned my cheese grits casserole, I got some requests for the recipe.  I have never been one of those cooks who guards her recipes with the secrecy of Fort Knox - I am so delighted someone likes something I have prepared that I hold the world's largest conference call so I can share it.  So here it comes!  After all, the way I show my Living Letters that I love them is with FOOD!!

I'm including a couple of other family favorite breakfast recipes.  Maybe you can fix them for first day of school breakfast!


Katie's Cheese Grits

 6 cups water
1 1/2 cup grits (not instant)
4 cups sharp cheese, shredded
3 eggs
1 1/2 sticks butter
3 tsp seasoned salt
1 tsp garlic
2 dashes Texas Pete (optional)
...

Bring water to boil and add grits. Stir in the cheese. Beat eggs and add to grits. Add butter and seasoning. Pour into casserole dish (I use 2 8x8's or similar size) Bake for 45 minutes to an hour at 350. Can freeze before baking.

 

 

 

Mary's and Betsy's Cheerio Bars

(This recipe is a tweak on one that my longtime friend DeeAnn shared with me.  Many of the ones my family loves came from Miss DeeAnn, whom my children consider one of the world's greatest cooks.  I agree!)

 

2 1/4 cups marshmallows  (small or large - doesn't matter)

1/3 cup peanut butter (I use crunchy - the nuts in my family like nuts)

1/4 cup butter

Melt these ingredients over low heat, stirring frequently

Then add 2 1/2 cups cheerios.  Stir in 1/4 cup raisins.  Let it cool for a few seconds and then add about 1/4 cup mini chocolate chips.  (If you don't let it cool, it becomes Cocoa Puff bars but my family likes it that way, too)

Press into 8x8 greased pan.  Cool and cut into bars.  Or give a spoon to each child and let them eat the entire pan.  Been there.  Done that.

 

 

Chip's Oatmeal Scones

 

2 cups plain flour

1 cup oats

1/4 cup sugar plus 2 TBS sugar, divided

1 TBS baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 cup butter, chilled and cut into pieces

3/4 cup milk

1 egg, slightly beaten

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 cup pecans, chopped

2 tsp cinnamon

 

Heat oven to 400.  Spray cookie sheet with cooking spray.  Combine flour, oats, 1/4 cup sugar, baking powder, salt; mix well.  Cut in butter with pastry blender until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.  In separate bowl, combine milk, egg, vanilla.  Blend well.  Add to dry ingredients and stir until moistened.  In another bowl (this recipe messes up a bunch of bowls but my boy loves it so he gets to have it!) combine remaining 2 TBS sugar, cinnamon and pecans.  Sprinkle over dough and gently swirl it in, not blending completely.   Pat the dough onto the greased cookie sheet into a large circle.  Use pizza cutter to cut into slices - no need to separate, just make the lines.  Bake 10-15 minutes.  We like it chewy like our oatmeal cookies.

 

Make whatever glaze you like on cinnamon rolls - we use about 1 cup powdered sugar, 1 tsp vanilla, and a couple of tsp milk.  Drizzle glaze on top and then use the pizza cutter to recut along the lines scored previously.

 

Your children will rise up and call you blessed.  Promise.

 

Oh, and in case you are wondering, OF COURSE my family eats like this EVERY SINGLE MORNING.  For sure.