How to S-T-O-P Christmas -- "S"

In case you didn't read the previous post and are about to report me to the Christmas police elves, please STOP and check it out here http://livingletters4.blogspot.com/


And now, let's talk about what we do to S-T-O-P Christmas........

"S" is for SIMPLIFY.


Before you quit reading and say you already know that, let's think about what you can really do to simplify the season.  To make it more enjoyable.  More meaningful.  BETTER.


"Simplify" can apply to all areas:


1.  Food
If you spell "LOVE" like my family does (F-O-O-D) then this is hard.  But it's possible.  You really don't have to serve prime rib, 8 side dishes, homemade rolls, and 6 hour prep desserts for Christmas dinner.  You really don't. Even if the spread makes a great instagram post.......  Sometimes we assume everybody wants all this stuff and we feel obligated to make it so they will all be happy when, in reality, that's just not the case.  We are feeding their gluttony if it is!  I have a friend who says her grandma stresses herself out every Christmas making a huge spread for all 30 family members and then is so worn out she can't even enjoy having everyone there.  And they eat it just to keep from hurting her feelings.  Not good.  For anyone. 

Simplify your food plans.  When my fourth child was born, I scratched the crown pork roast dinner I was used to preparing and served lasagna instead.  Since then, I've stuck with simple meals and lately we've decided to go to Steak n Shake or Waffle House!  On Christmas morning, I serve overnight coffee cake (which is a cinch to prepare the night before ) and a couple of casseroles that I've stashed in the freezer. 


If you can't give yourself permission to simplify food, then I'm giving it to you.  Cut it out!!!




2.  Gifts
This area might be harder than food.  Gift-giving.  But we make things harder for ourselves (not to mention our finances and the hearts of our kids.....) when we are excessive in this area.  It takes a lot of courage to make a change here but it's worth it. 

When it comes to extended family, consider drawing names or doing a family gift or limiting gifts to those under 18 only.  (If this is something you'd like to implement, I suggest you broach the subject in, say, July - not during the holiday season.  Emotions are usually more objective a few months away from the Black Friday fever!)


For your immediate family, you do not have to foster greed by piling up a mountain of gifts in an attempt to create a happy holiday.  You need to muster up enough self-control to limit the presents.  You set the example!! I borrowed an idea from my friend Kimberly a few years ago - "something to wear, something to read, something you want, and something you need".  I'll admit it was difficult to limit myself but it wound up being very freeing once I committed myself to it.  Other folks do three gifts, like the wise men brought to Jesus, even letting them symbolize the gold (something valuable), frankincense (something spiritual - like a worship CD or a book or a journal) and myrrh (something practical such as clothes, etc)  What a great opportunity to teach great truths!


Consider receiving no gifts for yourself at all - instead ask that donations be made in your honor to a charity of your choice.  This has been something that our family has treasured.  I cannot tell you how exciting it is to see your children gladly choose to give to others instead of receiving something themselves.  Now that's a gift I want to get!




3.  Activities
You just plain do NOT have to do every activity that is available.  You just DO NOT.  It is better for your healthy, your spirit, and everyone in your world for you to ensure that your calendar is NOT FULL.  Even with good things!  Honestly, church can be the chief culprit when it comes to over-activity.  Just don't let yourself participate in every activity offered - the same goes for your kids.  And don't let yourself believe you have to provide "meaningful" activities at home for every moment you are there.  Kids and parents alike benefit greatly from "down time", especially during a season that is so stimulating.  Be intentional about making that happen.


So that you can authentically enjoy the things that you do participate in!




If you are serious about wanting to "S-T-O-P" Christmas so you won't have to dread its coming, the best place to begin is to simplify.  But most of us are afraid to do so.  We fear that we will somehow cut out the enjoyment if we dare to cut back.  And since we women seem to universally feel responsible for everyone's holiday happiness, we keep piling on the food, the gifts, and the activities.  As though we think there's some magical amount that will ensure satisfaction for our people.  When actually, it's the converse that is true.


4.Decorations
 Some years you might have the time (and the desire and the wherewithal) to adorn every surface in your home with festive lovelies.  But that doesn't mean you should every year.  And you get to make that call!  Last year, when little Mary Alice was due to make her debut at Christmas, I knew I'd want to be in Albany then and for days after.  Which meant I would need to relegate the task of taking down and putting away decorations to other family members.  (While I got to stay with Katie and read books to Jonathan and snuggle Mary Alice :)  Well, somebody has to sacrifice!!!) I knew that simpler would be easier/better.  So our Christmas décor last year consisted of a tree, stockings, and outside garland/bows. Takedown was a breeze for my capable peeps.  (And the fact that all boxes were already labeled with what went where helped immensely.  Just sayin....)




Simplifying the season means that we can focus and relax and engage.


And that's what makes for happy people.


Let's "S" together, shall we?

Lessons learned from The Grinch

When my Katie told me that Jonathan wears his Grinch shirt and walks around the house whispering "I must stop Christmas from coming!  I must stop Christmas from coming!" I thought about how many times I have felt the same way. Although it's one of my family's all time favorite movies, it has been known to evoke terror in my heart.  Like when I was a little kid and my brother would terrorize me with his "Grinch" voice all season. (After Christmas was over, he tormented me with his "wicked witch" voice and I was the only kid in my town who was afraid of "The Wizard of Oz".  Gotta love big brothers.)
 
Anyhow, back to The Grinch.

I just love that story. The songs, the characters, the message. It's timeless.




I've come to appreciate different things from this classic through the years.(The cartoon one is my preference, by the way.  The updated one leaves something to be desired)  As my love for Christmas has morphed and aged, the things I observe and appreciate have altered. I eventually outgrew my fear of the Grinch voice, but I always saw him as mean and pathetic and bad.


  Now I think perhaps I understand him.


Maybe he was just tired and dreaded all that Christmas seemed to demand that he do.  I can relate.



.


Now don't ban me from your inbox.  Don't shake your finger at me and remind me of what Christmas is all about and scold me to enjoy it. 
I get that.


I love the story of Christmas.  The meaning of God's plan being unfolded and my Savior leaving Heaven to come rescue us all.  I not only love that, I cling to it with desperation.


What I'd like to "stop from coming" is what we've done to Christmas.  Or what I can so easily let happen to it in my heart.


Things to do.  Places to do.  Stuff to buy and plan and fix.  Expectations to meet.
That's what turns me into the Grinch.


Although I can easily downsize my heart and miss the joy of Christmas as quickly as snowmen melt at the beach, I realized this season that I have learned some things through the years.  Some things that help me truly enjoy the season.  Some things that keep my heart the right size and in the right place.  Some things that "stop (the wrong) Christmas from coming"......


How to S-T-O-P Christmas..........




Over the next few posts, I am going to share some concepts that help me "STOP" Christmas and enjoy it instead.  I hope you'll stick around......

Warning: Poison if Spoken

Continuing with our study in the book of James....
James 3:1-12
 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. ² For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. ³ If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. ⁴ Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. ⁵ So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.
How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! ⁶ And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life,^[a] and set on fire by hell.^{[b] 7} For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, ⁸ but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. ⁹ With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. ¹⁰ From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers,^[c] these things ought not to be so. ¹¹ Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? ¹² Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.


I am grinning as I type - when I open my Bible to this passage, it is so well-worn that I have had to tape up tears in the pages.  Apparently, I have been in need of this instruction so many times that I have worn out this section of God's Word!  I can only pray that this Truth is wearing its way into my soul and leaving its mark on my life......


James's letter is characterized by his direct approach and these verses are not an exception in any way.  As he moves from proclaiming to us in chapter two (by the way, remember that when these letters were written to 1st century believers, they weren't sectioned off in chapter and verse - we've just done that to help us break it down into more manageable pieces) that the evidence of the veracity of our faith is seen in our lives.


  And the first result he points to has to do with what we say.


What a concept.  There's an undeniable connection between our faith and our tongue.


Here is a brief sketch of what James says in verses 1-12 --
 
1.  A precaution about using our tongue to teach (v. 1)
I don't think James is against teaching.  Not at all.  Rather, I think he is urging believers to not take the teaching of God's truth lightly.  It can be a thrilling task to be one who teaches the Bible to others...and it can easily cause one to stumble into pride and self-righteousness and vulnerability.  So James is warning us to be cautious.  To be mindful that teaching is a serious responsibility and God will hold those who teach to a higher standard than non-teachers.  Matthew says "By your words you shall be justified and by your words you shall be condemned".  Before you teach it, be sure you live it.


2.  The proof of our faith is in our tongue (v.2)
Pretty straightforward - the condition of our tongue is evidence of the maturity of our faith.  Our words are the manifestation of who we are.  Our words reveal our heart.  Luke 6:45 - "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks".  What fills our heart spills out our mouth.


3.  The power of the tongue to direct the course of life -- ours and that of others (vs. 3,4)
WORDS, not TRUTH, can destroy a career, ruin a ministry, end a friendship.  WORDS are small things that affect in big ways - like a bridle for a horse, a rudder for a ship.  Proverbs puts it this way - The power of life and death are in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21)


4.  The potential for evil in the tongue (vs. 5-12)
Notice there are only negative descriptions - fire, poison, unable to be tamed.  It's as though James is doing all he can to paint a frightening picture.  Like in Driver's Ed when they show the film of the awful carnage of car wrecks to convey  the realm of possibility when you get behind the wheel of a car. 
James is making sure we get the picture - like a fire can be intentionally or unintentionally set, so our tongue can cause serious damage.  Whether we mean for it to or not, the effect is still a burning. And in verse 6 we see that our words not only have the potential for evil to others but even in our own lives - "set on fire the course of our life and is set on fire by hell".  Not only do we speak from the overflow of our hearts but our hearts become like the words we speak.


Wow.


And James doesn't stop there.  In verses 7,8, the lack of encouragement continues.  Not only is the tongue full of deadly poison, it is also "restless" - the original Greek word here means "liable to break out".  What a description!  Just when we think we've got it under control, the tongue "breaks out" and casualty results.
Wow.
I can think of several personal examples that fit this description.
Can you?


James stops abruptly here.
Just like that film in Driver's Ed was the last thing they showed in class.
He leaves us with a feeling of desperation.


So that perhaps we will acknowledge the potential for evil in our tongue...
and desperately desire the Only One who can transform it.
The One who can produce good fruit in us.
The One who can make sweet water flow from our mouth.


Help us, Lord Jesus.  Help us, please.

Love is...Blind

2 My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. ² For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, ³ and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” ⁴ have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? ⁵ Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? ⁶ But you have dishonored the poor man. Are not the rich the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court? ⁷ Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you were called?

⁸ If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well. ⁹ But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. ¹⁰ For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it. ¹¹ For he who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. ¹² So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. ¹³ For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
James 2:1-13


In this passage, James addresses a timeless issue of the human condition....an attitude of favoritism.  As old as history itself, James faced the same matter that churches and you and I and everybody else have to guard against today.  Favoring one group over another.  Preferential treatment for the such and such's or so&so's.  James calls it judgment.  And he warns us not to do it.


So let's unpack this passage...........



Predicament
In verses 1-3, James explains the predicament - preferential treatment based on superficial values.  Here, it's rich over poor but it could be lots of other things.  Position.  Skin color.  Gender. Belief system.  Anytime we base a person's value on something other than what God values, we find ourselves in this same predicament....an attitude of favoritism.


In verses 4-7, James explains the Problem that causes this predicament -our value system is different than God's.


Problem
The Greek word for "judge" is "krino" - it means to separate into categories ,to make distinctions among,  to cause a division between the parts.  It's like deciding what something is and slapping a label on it so as to know what to do with it then.  Only the "something" is a "someone" and the "it" is a "who".
And when we do it, it's because we have an agenda.....James is a bit more harsh with his words - he says we have evil motives.
Gulp.
I think James is right. 
We are inclined to treat people in ways that we believe will benefit ourselves.
So we assess someone else's value.  And then determine if their label could offer an advantage to our own position.  If so, we are tempted to adjust our behavior in a way that leverages the other person's assets.


And James just shakes his head at us, warning us that we are deceived.  He knows the principle from Proverbs 29:5 applies  A man who flatters his neighbor Is spreading a net for his steps.  By trying to gain favor from people we think can give us an advantage, we are actually setting a trap for ourselves.


The only One qualified to determine a person's value is God, the Only Righteous Judge. 


And the basis of His acceptance is.......Mercy.


Not some superficial issue like skin color or position or net worth.
Mercy.


So what's the Prescription for the Problem that causes this Predicament of preferential treatment?


James writes out the Divine Remedy in verses 8-11.
The Royal Law.


Loving one's neighbor as one's own self.


Instead of favoritism which is loving one's neighbor  in order to help one's own self.


Failure to keep the Royal Law is a serious matter and James reminds us of that.  In Matthew 22:34-40, Jesus explains that all of God's Holy Word can be boiled down to just a couple of principles:


But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. ³⁵ And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. ³⁶ “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” ³⁷ And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ³⁸ This is the great and first commandment. ³⁹ And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. ⁴⁰ On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets

Love God....and Love Others.  As much as we love ourselves.


That's the prescription that will heal the problem.  And that will get rid of the predicament.
Wow.  That's powerful stuff.


One more thought.


Depending on how well we live out the Royal Law, James has a Prognosis for our lives.  Verses 12, 13. These are definitely worth repeating as we close out today....So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. ¹³ For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.


Anybody you need to show some mercy to today? 


The evaluation of your life depends on it.


Wow.

Helpful tip for Mommies and Memory work

I have some really brilliant friends.  And I love it when they share their ideas with me.


And I love passing them on to you!


Here's one from my brilliant friend Brionne that will help you help your kids memorize Scripture:


Once a week (Thursdays after AWANA verses the night before) she writes her kids' upcoming memory verses on their bathroom mirror.  With dry erase marker.  They see this at least twice a day, she says, when she brushes their teeth.


And they get those verses memorized over a whole week. 

Instead of cramming them in on Wednesday afternoon.  Like somebody I know........


It's  a great idea.  I hope you'll try it.


Aren't you glad I have brilliant friends??? 


I love sharing their ideas and I'd love to pass yours along, too.


Oh, btw.  Just in case you're wondering.  She's not only brilliant.........she's beautiful as well.





I'm still marveling over the fact that she gets four kids' teeth brushed TWICE A DAY.