Dealing with Panic Attacks - part 2

I had alot of good feedback from the two earlier posts about panic attacks.  Thank you.  So very much.  I am grateful for your input and your encouragement.  And I'm glad to know this is indeed a relevant subject.
If you missed the earlier posts, scroll down and read them -- both are foundational for this one and the next because I will pick up where they left off but I won't recap them here.


Based on my research and interviews, I have some suggestions for what to do when panic strikes, some tips for the "real time" of a panic attack. One authority described a panic attack as "a comprehensive emotional nightmare".  Agreed.  But it's not only emotional.  It's also when your heart pounds and you can't breathe. You might experience dizziness or an inability to catch your breath.  Or symptoms that mimic a heart attack, chest pains, a heaviness in the chest.  Chills, tingling in the hands or feet, sweaty palms, flushed face, twitching muscles, trembling all over.  "Comprehensive" is quite accurate.  You are controlled by there feelings and that is helpless.





1.  The first thing I would share is that courage is not the absence of fear. You do not have to "feel brave" in order to gain victory over feelings of panic and fear.  Courage is rather doing the right thing in spite of how you feel.  So speak that truth to your heart now, when you are  not in the midst of paralyzing panic, and commit to reminding yourself of that truth when you feel suffocated by alarming anxiety.




2.  Because I confidently believe that God's Word is not only Truth but it is also powerful, the next thing I have to offer is what Scripture says in Proverbs 3:25,26


Do not be afraid of sudden terror
    or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes,
 for the Lord will be your confidence
    and will keep your foot from being caught




"Sudden terror" is describing a panic attack.  There are other passages such as Psalm 55:4,5  which recount the symptoms
My heart is in anguish within me;
    the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
⁵ Fear and trembling come upon me,
    and horror overwhelms me
and the next verses illustrate exactly what one longs to do in the midst of such fear:


I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove!
    I would fly away and be at rest;
⁷ yes, I would wander far away;
    I would lodge in the wilderness; Selah
⁸ I would hurry to find a shelter    from the raging wind and tempest.”


There is a desperate desire to flee but that won't solve the problem.  Instead, rehearse these steps ahead of time, when you don't feel the raging wind and tempest, a time when the fear is not controlling your thoughts and body. And know that you do not have to fear the fear.  You do not have to be afraid of the panic.


3.  Here are the steps:
  - Admit that, although embarrassing and uncomfortable, panic attacks will not kill you and no single attack will last forever.  All you have to do is endure some difficult moments - you will not die.  And in a relatively short period of time, normalcy will return.
  - Anticipate places of "trigger" and rehearse exactly what you will do when you step into that situation. 
  - Acknowledge the attack for what it is - do not fight it but rather name it and then accept what is happening  It is uncomfortable and undesirable but it is not mysterious.
  -Advance - do not isolate yourself or "flee" thinking you should just "deal with it" until it passes.  Instead, proceed with whatever you are involved in as normally as possible.

 - Alternative attention - distract yourself by talking with whomever is around you (one woman said she chatted intensely with her children about other subjects so she could force her mind to focus elsewhere; another person said she used humor to distract herself)

  -Address the physiological symptoms - when your heart is racing and you feel like you cannot breathe, you most likely feel helpless to control what is happening.  But you are not!  Every single physician and counselor that I consulted assured me (insisted!) that we have amazing abilities to effect changes in our heart rate, blood pressure, and respiratory activity by mental disciplines.  Perhaps it sounds cliché, but "mind over matter" is real.  One phrase that was used repetitively was "redirect the circuit" to regain physiological equilibrium.  Things such as breathing deeply and slowly, even breathing into a paper bag, can signal your body to relax and free itself from the panic.


4.  The main thing to do is to commit to these steps, rehearse them, and accept that these tips will work.  Don't let yourself dismiss them or consider yourself an exception.  No one is "so special" that they are exempt from the reality that success is possible.


5.  While "mind over matter" is the key to handling a panic attack, there is much more to address in preventing future ones.  That will be another post.

Sometimes it's time to pause

The world got a lot more beautiful on December 5. Lucy Elizabeth Alligood made her debut. She is as perfect as her big brother and big sister and, like her siblings , she makes me want to be a better person , to do my part to bring good to the world around me, and to help her follow Christ with her whole heart

I'll get back to writing posts soon but for now I will just enjoy the blessing that God has sent to our family. Welcome baby girl. We are so glad you were born !

When Panic Attacks - part 1

Fear has always been around.  Since Adam and Eve hid from God in the garden out of fear, this emotion has been controlling behavior of people everywhere.  If not controlling, then threatening to, and inducing paralysis, guilt, and panic. 


Fear of all sorts of things - heights, public speaking, needles (my personal phobia to address) as well as fear of rejection, loneliness, loss of security, and death.  Even fear itself is frightening.  It is destructive to relationships, careers, and personal growth.  And it is cyclic in that fear often induces more fear, anxiety, and stress.


As followers of Christ, we usually suffer our fears privately, wondering if we are spiritual failures to succumb to the negative feelings that leave us paralyzed emotionally, mentally, and even physically.  We try to address our fears in lots of ways, most of which do not lead to sustained success.  We feel guilty, telling ourselves that we ought not to feel this way. We might try positive thinking or even quoting some Bible verses from time to time.  Or we ignore the fears and try to avoid situations that might trigger those feelings of terror.  Or we convince ourselves that fear is somehow normal and therefore we must just deal with it as best we can, often with medication that at least takes the edge off the panic.  Then we usually lay shame on top of the fear.


And yet, the fears persist. The physical manifestations are indeed real - elevated blood pressure, sweaty palms, acceleration of heart rate, difficulty breathing. So are the emotional symptoms - feelings of helplessness, panic, and despair are brought on by the body's response to fear-induced adrenaline levels.  All too often, those who suffer from fear usually find themselves eventually locked in a battle with depression as well.  It's a natural outgrowth.


So, what do we do?



As I said in the earlier post, I have more to share than can fit into one day's post.  Or even two.  Also, remember that I am not an authority - not a trained counselor nor a physician nor even a panic attack sufferer.  But I have talked with dozens of the aforementioned, I have researched extensively, and, like all humans, I, too, know fears. 
And I want to offer some thoughts over the next few days that I believe can be of help.


For today:


1.  While medication may be able to help with some of the physical and emotional symptoms, it is insufficient to address the root issues of fear.  Those must be dealt with. Two women in different cities told me that every woman in their Bible study (except themselves) were on some type of anti-anxiety medication. That's 10-15 in each group --- surely this should not be the norm! More than one woman told me that it seems "trendy" to be in therapy and/or on medication even among Christians. Pretty much like Starbucks or Pilates,   I find this disturbing. We might find some use of medicines temporarily successful but we must not place our trust in this as our solution.
2.  The root issues of fear are spiritual - fear is grounded in unbelief and we must be willing to examine ourselves to discover the real issues.  And to bring it out into the light and call it what it is.  It is not helpful to hide behind masks of pretense or of defense.  Let's deal in truth, including personal responsibility.
3.   We do not have to be controlled by fear.  While God's will may not always be physical healing, there is not one sliver of doubt in my heart about this - His will for His children is always to walk in peace and joy and victory - not fear. The command "do not fear" appears over 100 times in Scripture and there are over 500 references about fear and exhortations to instead know and trust God.
4.  Since God commands us not to fear and actually to not only trust Him but also to rejoice, then it must be possible to live this way.  Therefore, we can expect that He wants to equip us to overcome our fears and live in joy and peace, controlled by His Spirit instead of our fears.


5.  So the question becomes....as silly as it may sound....Do you wish to get well?
In the Gospel of John, Jesus asks this very question -
One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?”
(John 5:5,6)
Does that strike you as interesting?  I mean, really, here's a man who had been a invalid for 38 years. Of course he would want to be healed!  What's up with that question!!
Well, since Jesus is God, He already knew the answer to the question.  So why did He ask?


Because the invalid needed to know the answer to the question, not Jesus.



Check out his response in verse 7 -
The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.”


At the risk of sounding callous, I want to call it like I see it.  Or like I read it.
This is classic blame shifting and self-pity.  The man sees himself as a victim and claims there is no help available.  He sounds like he's saying "I've tried but it's no use - the deck is stacked against me"


Before we take the poor man to task, let's admit that we can do the same thing.  We can slide into blaming others for our plight or playing the victim card - maybe hoping to either evoke sympathy or avoid personal responsibility.  We can actually get comfortable with our fears, so comfortable that we prefer them to the possibility of change.  Without realizing it, we may even believe there are "benefits" to our fears (Stockholm Syndrome, anyone?)  "Benefits" such as seeking comfort and attention from those around us.  Or a "right" to be relieved of the expectations of others and excused from responsibilities that we really should be accepting.


So. just like Jesus asked that invalid over 2000 years ago, He asks us now - Do you wish to get better?
Because if you do, then He welcomes you to participate in the process.
Just like He did with the man by the pool.


⁸ Jesus said to him, “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.” ⁹ And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked.


So, before I share the tips on how to handle your panic attacks and how to deal with the roots and ward off fear successfully, we need to first dig deep and answer the question - Do I wish to get well?
Unless we can truthfully answer affirmatively, we will not be able to participate in the process.  And I seriously doubt that passivity will result in profitable results.

What do you do when it seems overwhelming? Panic Attacks - Introduction

And I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove!
    I would fly away and be at rest;
 yes, I would wander far away;
    I would lodge in the wilderness


I think every person alive has felt the angst penned in Psalm 55:6,7.  When pressures mount, or sorrows pile up, or demands overwhelm us, there is a soul-cry that bubbles up - "just get me out of here!"


I know the feeling well.  The longing to escape the pressures and troubles that cause pain and angst and sorrow.  The desire for rest and comfort and peace.


I am so grateful for the vulnerable authenticity of the psalmist.  It is great encouragement to know that God deemed it profitable for my training in righteousness (see 2 Timothy 3:16) to include this passage in Scripture.  I urge you to read the entire Psalm; it is very likely that you, too, have felt the need to escape life's unrelenting stresses.  This Psalm might help you process the strain.


Let's have a look at some of it together....


First, let's examine the situation the psalmist is in.  Verses 2-5 describe  what I have had countless folks recount to me as a panic or anxiety attack.  Intense heart rate, restless feelings, gripped by fear, engulfed by sensations of horror and anxiety and despair. Despair even to the point of thinking death would be preferable.  It's all right there in Scripture.  Even though we are tempted to think this malady is a modern phenomenon. 


The next thing I want us to see is the "trigger" of the anxiety.  There are numerous verses that unpack the "source" - 9,12-14, 20-21,  23.  In this instance, the stress is brought on by people,  Specifically, the betrayal from a "friend".  A friend turned enemy.  In other cases, though, the anxiety is induced by circumstances, such as those of Job (Job 3:13, 21:6).  (Even then, however, the feeling of being overwhelmed by horror is exacerbated by the responses of "friends")


And the result is an intense desire to flee.  To get out from under the panic and the stress. To flee to a place of peace, comfort, and an absence of pain.


We can "flee" in different ways.
 Physically.  We can leave the situation that feels unbearable by  creating space between us and the stress.  By severing a relationship.  Or taking a different job.  Or maybe going for a run.
Mentally.  There are mind-numbing options such as alcohol or drugs that allow us to "check out" of stress.  Or we can "fly away" through entertainment or activities that take our mind off the tension.


What can we learn from this psalm that will help us when pressures and panic threaten to be our undoing?  How can we cope victoriously with not only the physical symptoms of anxiety attacks but also their roots? What is the way to successfully respond when the desire to flee overtakes us?


It's too much to put into a single post. In a later post,  I will cover some things I've learned from talking with dozens of counselors, physicians, and panic-attack-sufferers that I think can be of some help.  But for now, I want to leave you with some encouragement.


1.  If you suffer from these attacks, you are not alone.  Not only have I spoken with numerous people (who, by the way, are capable and mature and successful folks) who have dealt with such, here we have in God's Word the very situation that has thousands of people seeking help, even right now.  There is a temptation to feel isolated and desolate in this but that is not accurate.  I Corinthians 10:13 assures that "No temptation (trial/test) has overtaken you but such as is common to man".  It happens to lots of folks, not just you.  And lots and lots of folks have figured out how to win over this so you can, too.


2.  Which leads to the next point - you can win over this.  You do not have to live in fear, controlled by anxiety.  In the next post, I will share with you what I've learned from some experts and some overcomers that I think will help.  There is hope because God is faithful and will not allow you to be tested beyond what you are able but provides the way for you to endure it.  You don't have to run away - you can triumph over it all.


 3. Even though I don't suffer from  full-blown panic attacks as described here in Scripture and in the lives of other folks, I do often have the feeling of desolation and a desire to get out from the pile of pressure I'm under.  Longing for a way to escape, to get away to a place of comfort and relaxation.  I expect that is true of all of us.
Sometimes our life's circumstances enable us to experience some relief.  We might get a vacation or a few hours rest.  Perhaps comfort arrives in the words from a beloved friend or counselor.  A reprieve from financial pressure might appear. Or maybe the situation causing the stress gets resolved satisfactorily.
But what if none of that happens? What if you can't take a vacation or even a few hours away? What if no cavalry shows up at your door offering childcare, a casserole, or consolation?  What if the tension continues to mount and the problems get more complicated?  What if the "worst thing imaginable" happens and we find ourselves in a place we never wanted and can hardly bear?  What then? 
  There is a  "way of escape" that Scripture exhorts.  A way that leads to victory to our heart and brings glory to God.  Because I am firmly convinced that all of Scripture is the inspired Word of God, I know that it is not insignificant that the psalmist uses the words "wings like a dove".  Why not "wings of a sparrow", a fragile, needy sparrow, which is how we feel at those times?  Or "wings like an eagle", a majestic, powerful, eagle, which is what we aspire to?  Why did the Holy Spirit inspire "wings like a dove"?  A dove???
I am surely not a prophet and cannot claim to know the mind of God.  But here is a thought.  The dove is seen not as powerful and capable but rather as innocent and pure. In digging out info about a dove, I learned that doves don't fight back at their attackers nor do they even fly swiftly away to outrun them.  Rather they fly patiently and consistently, not wearying themselves, to a place of hiding from the pursuer.


 Perhaps the psalmist wants to convey the idea of one who is unable to save itself but instead can flee to safety, to refuge, to peace...


 Leave the cities, and dwell in the rock,
    O inhabitants of Moab!
Be like the dove that nests
    in the sides of the mouth of a gorge.
Jeremiah 48:28


When our heart is in anguish and anxiety threatens to reduce us to a puddle, when we feel abandoned or afraid and no help is in sight, we don't have to stay in that state.  I will share some suggestions in a later post- practical helps- about how to handle the immediacy of a panic attack as well as some ways to help prevent further occurrences.  But for now, know that there is help.  Because God's Word is true.  Truer than our circumstances.  Stronger than our feelings.  And bigger than our fears.


Psalm 61:2,3  assures us


from the end of the earth I call to you
    when my heart is faint.
Lead me to the rock
    that is higher than I,³ for you have been my refuge,
    a strong tower against the enemy.


Wings of a dove that can take us to the Rock that is higher, the strong tower, the refuge...Jesus.

Well, I heard....

I really try not to blog when I am upset.  I do my best to remain  upbeat or at least objective.  But I keep seeing this sin hurt so many people and this time it's too close to home to remain quiet.


Yeah, I'm ticked off .  And I am going to process it by blogging til I feel better.


So if you are easily offended or don't like to wade through emotions, you'll be better off skipping Living Letters today.  And I'll understand.  Just catch me next time and I promise I'll try and return to emotional equilibrium.

What's the big deal?  What's gotten my dander up?  (Or as my family would say - what's caused another voodoo doll to get scores of painful pin pricks :)  )


Gossip.


Slander.


Maybe there's a difference, maybe it's semantics but whatever it is, I just know that someone I treasure was lied about and the rumor feathers hit the wind.


You know how that winds up.


I found a website that offers a Biblical definition of gossip (don't know if this author majored in New Testament Greek or if he had divine revelation - but the definition looks pretty accurate to me and it's helpful - so we're going with it)


Gossip - to spread rumors or secrets; to speak maliciously about someone behind their back or to repeat something you have no right to repeat.


Wow.  This is a wide definition.  It could even include occasions where true tales are shared but just with wrong motives.  Wow.


What has me all worked up, though, is the spreading of a lie.  An outright, unfounded, careless, malicious lie.


And make no mistake about it - words have power.  The power of life and death are in the tongue.  Doesn't matter if they are true or not.


This time the words were lies.  And great damage was done.


God makes it very clear how He feels about gossip.  Just check out these few verses (I could've shared about 30 more but these will give you the idea of His take on the subject!)


Proverbs 6:16,19 - There are six things the Lord hates.......false witness who breathes out lies"


Proverbs 16:28 - A perverse man spreads strife


Proverbs 10:18 - Whoever utters slander is a fool


Psalm 34:13 -   Keep your tongue from evil And your lips from speaking deceit


Exodus 23:1 - You shall not bear a false report; do not join your hand with a wicked man to be a malicious witness


Then take a listen to this one - not only does God condemn spreading gossip, He says we should not even listen to it!
Proverbs 17:4 - An evil doer listens to wicked lips and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue .


We all know not to do it.  I'm sure I've been guilty of the same.  But this evil should not be named among God's people. At all.


Yet we see churches divided by it, friendships shattered by it, careers ruined by it, and hearts shredded by the chaos that ensues.  All because Christians gossip.


Why do we do it?  When we know it's wrong, when we know the damage it does?
Because we believe a lie.  The lie that tricks us into thinking we will derive benefit in some way.  The lie that preys upon our insecurity, our fragile egos, our determination to get our way.  The lie that says we will fare better if we can diminish someone else.


Looks pretty pathetic when it's put that way, doesn't it? 


And it is.  A lot pathetic.
And evil and destructive and wrong.


But, deafened by the screams of our own ego, we do it anyway, hoping to prop up our own significance somehow.
And then, eventually, we find, like all lies, gossip never delivers what we thought it promised.


Our increased significance was fleeting.  The way we thought we had to have proved faulty.  And, if we are Christ-followers, there's a sick feeling in our stomachs (at least I hope there is - if not, we are in serious trouble!) Not to mention the fractured relationships we caused all around.


Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. (Proverbs 18:21)  Or as my Mama says - "what goes around, comes around".  If our tongues sow life, we will reap it.  And if our tongues spread gossip, we will reap death.  Oh, maybe not immediately, but you can mark it down - we all have to eat our words eventually.


Best we can hope for is that the words we speak taste good!



What to do?


1.  Do not participate.  When gossip is shared, change the subject. Ask if the info being shared is first, true, and second, helpful.  Proverbs 26:20 says For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.
2.  Do not initiate.  Just don't.  Nuf said.
3.  When victimized by gossip (here's where I am focused right now....) - two things are needed:
      First, forgiveness and second, go to the talebearer alone.  (Matthew 18:15-20)  There are clear instructions about how to do this (speak the truth in love, go in humility, get the log out of your own eye first, etc) but going directly to the gossiper is necessary.  Full disclosure - I contemplated serious pin pricks to a voodoo doll.  Or "telling off" the perpetrator - just to comply with Galatians 6:1, of course.  At the very least, praying that God would divinely email this post to their email - sadly they don't even know this blog exists - can you even imagine????


I am feeling a little better now.  Still angry that folks who publicly proclaim their faith can so easily do such wretched damage.  But directing my energy to forgiveness.  Since these are my brothers and sisters in Christ, their sin has already been paid for at the Cross.  Jesus doesn't hold it against them and so I cannot either.  I will help my dear friend move toward acceptance that all God's plans are good - even when they come disguised in wretched wrapping paper. God alone will take what others meant for evil and transform it for good. For those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. The Divine Alchemist.
 We will bow in humility, knowing that Christ is our example,   ⁶ who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, ⁷ but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant,^] being born in the likeness of men. ⁸ And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.  (Philippians 2:6-8)


He trusted God's plan completely and that freed Him up to serve and suffer.  Wow.


He had no thought of retribution. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly (I Peter 2:23)


Not a tongue lashing to his enemies nor the spreading of news about their evil.
Not even one single prick to a voodoo doll. 


I am ok now.  It helped me to process with you.  Thanks.  I highly recommend this blogging thing - frugal therapy!
I'll write cheerily next time.


Here's hoping that our words taste good when they come back to us.


And if a couple of certain people are finding themselves tasting sawdust today, well, they can just be glad it's that and not stabs from a pin....Just sayin......