Love does not...

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  I Corinthians 13:4-7

Love does not insist on its own way.

In other words, love is not selfish.  As we’ve seen in the other descriptions, there is not a particle of selfishness in love.  It seeks the good of others above self.  It’s as though the inspired word of the Holy Spirit wants to underscore that thought for emphasis.  In case we missed it before, we see it spelled out explicitly here – love does not insist on its own way…it is not selfish.

Being “not selfish” requires humility.  Not assertiveness.  This flies in the face of much of what we are instructed by the world.  Stand up for yourself.  Claim your rights (even as a Christian!). Look out for yourself.  At least, take care of yourself!  But God instructs us differently.  In Philippians 2:3-8, He says

 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.  Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.  Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross

Nothing from selfishness or empty conceit.  Wow.  That’s a tall order indeed!  But that is what love does.  It submits to God’s way, gladly yielding to His will and obeys His Word.  How can we do that?  It seems impossible!

It is only possible if we trust Him.  If we know that He is our defense, that He is at work to accomplish that which  is good for us, and that His ways are always good.  Then we can abandon our own selfish agenda and entrust ourselves to Him.  Because He loves us and gave His Son for us…and freely gives us all things.

That’s love worth trusting.

 

 

Love is NOT..

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  I Corinthians 13:4-7

We are working our way through this passage…now we come to this description of love –

Love is not arrogant or rude.

Some translations say “it is not arrogant and does not act unbecomingly”.  I like that explanation. 

First, let’s address the arrogance.  Simply put, LOVE esteems others as more important than  ourselves.  When we love, we seek to lift others up, prioritize what is best for others, and not assume that our position/opinion/view is the right one.  Now, just a word of caution – I do not think that Scripture is advocating a miserable existence where we denigrate ourselves and consider our lives to be worthless.  That is actually just another expression of arrogance! Because arrogance is self-consumption and deflation of others.  Love is, instead,  self-forgetfulness and the valuing of others.  Love is not arrogant because love does not focus on self.

 That’s why the “love is not rude” admonition follows – rudeness is a lack of consideration of others.  Plain and simple.  From civility of  manners to common courtesies  to respectful public behavior (including social media…), love is not rude.  It does not treat others in an impolite, thoughtless or mean way.   It just does not.

I wonder how many relationships could be repaired if we just would choose to reject arrogance and rudeness.  And I wonder how many relationships are fractured because we didn’t…

I believe that Christians should place a high value on treating others with respect and courtesy. We need to train our children to do so…and we need to model it ourselves.  Ask God to show you if there is a relationship or a situation where you have displayed arrogance or rudeness.  Then repent and be reconciled.

That’s what Love does.

 

Love does not envy

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  I Corinthians 13:4-7

Today let’s look at “love does not envy”.  It occurs to me that we don’t hear many messages preached on envy.  Not too many books on this topic and I rarely hear myself or others confess this particular sin.  And yet, it is a major problem among those of us who are alive.  Major.  If we dig down to discover root causes of many other sins, we often find envy lurking there.

Think about it – have you gossiped recently?  Or criticized someone?  Or treated someone unkindly?  Resented a friend or complained about something you did not have?  Is there envy underneath those things?  Could it be that we covet what someone else has  - be it  a lovely home or thoughtful husband or successful children – and that causes us to react in unloving ways to someone…..as if we can somehow even the score?

Love does not envy.  Instead, love rejoices over God’s blessings to others and trusts that He is doing good to us, as well.  Rejecting envy requires that we embrace certain truths about God. First, that it is HE who gives good gifts.  Good things do not come as a result of self-effort but rather are from His hand.  He determines who has what.  And we need to settle that in our hearts.  Next we need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is always good in what He does.  Recipients of His gifts may distort and misuse His gifts but He is always loving in His giving.  And in His withholding. Psalm 84:11 tells us …no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.  If we long for something that someone else has and wonder why we can’t have it, too, God wants us to trust Him.  He does not have a quota on blessings.  He is not going to run out of resources and He does not limit us to some certain amount of His goodness.  If we don’t have something we are longing for, let’s trust Him.  Keep asking and listening and keep on trusting.  If His answer is “wait”, then trust His timing.  If His answer is “yes”, then rejoice and know that He blesses us so that we can be a blessing to others.  And if His answer is “no”, then choose to trust Him rather than to envy others.  He is good.  All the time. 

I get by with a little help from my friends...a lot, actually!

It's wedding week at our house.  Contrary to popular myth, it's not crazy and stressful and tense.  Instead, it is sweet and exciting and blessedly anticipatory.  If I am crazy, it's "crazy thankful".  God continues to show Himself strong on our behalf, to display His favor and generosity and lovingkindness. 


Especially via our friends.


I have had frequent opportunities to sit back and weep with joy over the goodness He has sent through our friends. Not just for this wedding, but for the past two years.


This verse stands out to me - A friend loves at all times. (Proverbs 17:17)  Oh, how I have seen that be so true for me and my family!  We have had joys of new babies and weddings and awards.  We have had sorrows of disappointments and dying and rejection.  And we have walked through difficulties that are too painful to make public. 
Through the journey, friends have been there.  Notes.  Calls.  Texts.  Assuring us of love and prayers.
Flowers.  Food.  Tears to mingle with my own.  Rejoicing when we have had joy.  Remembering our needs and moving to meet them.
Friends have thrown parties, made bows and tent cards, transported kids, housed guests, arranged flowers, and been kind enough to have my needs on their radar. To think that my friends, in the midst of their very full lives, would even be thinking about the fact that it is "wedding week for the Chambers crew" is mind-blowing to me!  Maybe it seems "little" to you but when you ask me how my Mom is doing or how you can help for this weekend, or let me know that you are praying, well,  it's anything but insignificant to me. I feel most unworthy and that I must have exceeded my allowance of blessings, surely.


My heart is full.  I want to flood my friends with blessings in return.  I want to shower them with thankfulness and kindness.  But I know I cannot repay the love I am given so consistently.  Because it is given so freely, with no thought of recompense. 
So I turn my heart towards Heaven, praising the Giver of all good gifts.  Thanking Him for His generous supply to me through His people.  Asking HIM to bless my friends, as only He can do.


In the midst of my joy, He reminds me that, though my life is characterized by the presence and profusion of friends, He orchestrates times for every life - mine included - where the journey is single file.  There are places He takes us where no friends can go...except Jesus.  Caverns so dark that no light can penetrate...except for the Light of the World.  Waters so deep that we are overcome to the point of drowning...until we find the Everlasting Arms underneath us.


Situations where we know the psalmist is reading our mail when he penned this verse:
 Reproach has broken my heart, and I am so sick.  And I looked for sympathy but there was none.  And for comforters but I found none.   Psalm 69:20


In those times, we find Psalm 18:24 to be abundantly true - There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. 


Friends are among the absolute greatest of God's blessings to us...but He does not intend for them to be to us what only Jesus can be.  (And when we expect (demand??) that of them, we are in for the greatest of disappointments, the deepest of hurts, and the most painful of sorrows)


Only Jesus alone is THE FRIEND.  The friend of sinners.  The friend who lays down His life.  The friend who always hears and always understands and always knows what is best for His own.


May Thy salvation, O God, set me securely on high.  I will praise the name of God with song and shall magnify Him with thanksgiving.   (Psalm 69:29,30)


What a friend we have in Jesus.  Amen. And how I praise Him for providing so sweetly to me through His hands and feet...my friends!  Thank you, Jesus, and thank you, friends!

What is the most important thing?

And one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your mind’ .This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it – ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:35-40
Let’s read this passage again today, now that we know the background. The Pharisees wanted to know which commandment was most important, which one should they concentrate on primarily. Perhaps they had looked inside their own hearts enough to know they couldn’t keep them all and hoped to justify themselves by at least keeping the most important one.
Jesus dashed those hopes.
He told them…and us…that all the commandments are rooted in one thing – Love. Our most important task in life is not establishing a career or having a great marriage or raising responsible kids. It’s not writing books or being famous or having laudable talent. It’s not even faithful church service or self-sacrifice for others.
It’s love.
Loving God and loving others.
I Corinthians 13:1-3 demonstrates the preeminence of love and the futility of all else - If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Let’s ask the Lord to teach us what LOVE is this week….