The Other Woman

I'm in a Bible study with a cool group of women (of all ages and life seasons) and we are studying Proverbs 31. The P31 Woman. Lots to learn about this rather intimidating figure that the mother of the King exhorted him to marry.

As I was pondering this role model, I realized that Proverbs talks quite a bit about women. These 22 verses are not the only mention of women in the book. In fact, there are alot more than 22 other verses in there about "The  Other Woman".

The woman that we can be if we are not intentional about seeking God's grace and mercy to become more like the P31 gal.

There may be more than these but I find at least 4 types of "The Other Woman"....


1. The foolish woman  - Proverbs 14:1 tells us that The wise woman builds her house but the foolish woman tears it down with her hands.
What are ways we can be this foolish woman and tear down our house? Lots of ways, to be sure, but Proverbs 9:13 specifies this : The woman of folly (uh, that would be the foolish woman so that would mean she is tearing down her house with this action) is boisterous, she is naive and knows nothing.
I looked up "boisterous" just to be sure I  understood - it means "rough, stormy, unrestrained"
Boisterous.  Foolish. The other woman.

2. The contentious woman - Proverbs 25:24 says that It is better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.  And in Proverbs 27:15,16 Scripture clarifies the picture - A constant dripping on a day of steady rain ad a contentious woman are alike; He who would restrain her restrains the wind and grasps oil with his right hand.
So, again, I looked up "contentious" just to get it right - "tending to argument or strife, quarrelsome"
Contentious. Undesirable. The other woman.

3. The senseless woman - Proverbs 11:22 - As a gold ring in a pig's snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.  What a picture - a beautiful gold ring, wasted in the nose of a pig!
Used dictionary.com alot today - this was a long one - "judicious in one's conduct or speech, especially with regard to respecting privacy or maintaining silence about something of a delicate nature; prudent; circumspect."
Maybe just think of it as beauty used inappropriately.
Senseless. Without discretion. The other woman.

4. The adulterous woman.  Lots of passages in this book address this type of woman. Proverbs 5:3-6 describes her this way: The lips of a seductive woman are oh so sweet,   her soft words are oh so smooth.But it won’t be long before she’s gravel in your mouth,    a pain in your gut, a wound in your heart.She’s dancing down the primrose path to Death;    she’s headed straight for Hell and taking you with her.She hasn’t a clue about Real Life,    about who she is or where she’s going.
Seductive. Adulterous. The Other Woman.


The difference in our lives between The Other Woman and the P31 woman?
That's found in that P31 passage...vs. 30...A woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Praying to be fearing the Lord,

Suzanne

What's in store for 2017

It is healthy, beneficial, advisable to mark the end of one thing and the beginning of another. To celebrate and anticipate. That's what ceremonies for graduations and weddings do for us. Even funerals are the opportunity to grieve the end and to hope for the reunion on That Day.

God instructed the Israelites to do this many times in the Old Testament, to set up markers as reminders of His marvelous works, to enable one generation to tell the next of His faithfulness, to offer encouragement of more to come.

Too often we miss the point of celebrations and expend our energy solely on temporal things like decorations, food, gifts...partying for the sake of partying. We should indeed celebrate - in fact Christians should outdo everyone else in how to celebrate - but we are much more advantaged if those props are the aids to our celebrations and not the reason.

We just ended a year. The new one is beginning.

Instead of just passing from one day to the next, turning the page of the calendar robotically, let's be purposeful.

Find a few moments (I know that may sound more improbable than the literal existence of the Tooth Fairy but work with me here). Look back over 2016 and note things that have happened in your life. All sorts of things. Physical things like moving to a new house or adding a baby or losing someone. Achievements like completing a college degree or a promotion or starting a business. Spiritual milestones like baptism or reading through the Bible or accomplishing forgiveness of a long standing hurt. Whatever the Holy Spirit brings to mind.

Note them. Write them down. If appropriate, share them with your family or a close friend. (BTW I'd love to hear from you!!!  My email address is chamfam@bellsouth.net)

Celebrate the commemorative ones...grieve the painful ones. But mark them.

Then assign them to 2016.

And ask God to help you look forward to 2017.

Ask Him for a verse or set of verses that He wants to impress on your heart for this coming year.

Here's what He has given me:

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. ¹³ Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus  Philippians 3:12-14

Fitting verse for the New Year.  My goal for 2017.

Unpack it with me for a few moments...

First, what is the Apostle Paul referring to in verses 12 and 13 when he says "this" and "it"? What has he not already obtained nor made his own?

We need to consult the previous couple of verses to decipher that.

¹⁰ that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹ that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

So what Paul aspires to is to know Him. Not just to know about Him or even to know justification from sin but rather to know Him experientially, intimately, deeply. Progressing in that knowledge that will finally be complete when we see Him face to face.

Paul is acknowledging in verse 12 that he has not achieved this yet but his goal is to get there.

And as this passage explains Paul's intention, it instructs me how to make it my own.

I see at least three things I must do in order for this to be my goal

1. because Jesus Christ has made me His own

Knowing Him fully begins with knowing Him initially.  Well, aren't I Captain Obvious! But it needs to be totally clear that we have to be made His first. And that this relationship is His idea to begin with! And that the same grace that saves us is what enables us to walk with Him from then on. We cannot come to Him, pursue Him, or know Him apart from the work of His Spirit in our hearts.

So that's the first thing - being His and being cognizant of the Truth that it is He who works in me to accomplish His good pleasure.

2. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus 

Paul sees it as "one thing" but I think that conveys his singlemindedness, his singular focus. SO I  split this part into two to simplify things for myself. After my acknowledgment of Jesus working in me to make me not only His own but also to be like Him, I need to forget what lies behind.

To lay aside 2016.

Those things you and I made note of in those few alone moments we were able to conjure up.

Those things worthy of celebration and those things fitting for grief.

"Forgetting" does not mean "not remembering". That would not only be impossible but also unwise. If you had a baby in 2016, I highly recommend that you remember that!

So what is this passage instructing us to do?

Not to be absorbed or controlled.

Those  good things in 2016 that make us want to hang our hats on? Rejoice over them. thank God for them, and hold them with an open hand, asking God how He wants to use them for His glory.

But camping out in the successes, thinking those accomplishments define us, basking in the praise - nope. Forget them instead. We must not let our victories be the source of our joy or our identity. We must not delude ourselves into thinking we have finished the race just because we ran last year's lap well. 

That distracts us from focusing on the finish line. That keeps us from running our present race victoriously.

Do not be absorbed or controlled by good things..."forget them".

Maybe more important that forgetting the good things is the necessity of forgetting the bad. Those things that wounded us, grieved us, caused us to fail. The default reaction to pain is to retell the story, to reopen the wound, to relive the hurt or guilt or sorrow.  We then become absorbed by it...and that allows it to control us.

And when something negative controls us, it produces more negativity. More hurt, more guilt, more sorrow. We cannot move on to victory because we are mired in past defeat.

The point is not to cease remembering - the point is to untie ourselves from the things of the past...that is forgetting.

So those failures or losses or wounds from 2016? Forget them...move on.

3. straining forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus 
I love that Paul uses the word "straining" here. It connotes hard work and that is just exactly what is called for. It's hard work to loose ourselves from the good and the bad of the past...and it is definitely hard work to press forward to what lies ahead. We are much more inclined to relax a little (if we've experienced recent successes) or to give up (if our mindset is one of defeat because of recent failures). Paul explains that we have to strain, to press, to exert some energy and purpose.

Indeed, it is hard work.

But make no mistake about it - the prize is worth it.
Jesus has called us to know Him, to be transformed into His likeness and conformed to His image. To come into His presence and receive His rewards. To reign with Him and enjoy Him forever.

The prize of His call upward. Worth more than anything here. Worth every bit of straining and pressing and striving.

That's my goal for this year.
I purpose to "forget" 2016- to not be absorbed or controlled by the happy memories or the successes or the hurts. But rather to be singularly focused on directing my energy and purpose and resources towards knowing Him.

I'd love to hear what you hope for 2017.

Living Letters Devotional Book update

For those of you in the Athens/Watkinsville area,  I will have a couple of book signings (isn't that a hoot???) and would love for you all to stop by and say hi if you can. Especially to the 12/17 one because I'd like to support my friend Dara Buczynsky and her great mission

12/17 - Epiphany 294 W Washington St /Athens - a place founded to help women understand that their true beauty comes from their Creator and to support local ministries
I'll be there 1-3pm

12/20  Walls of books/ Watkinsville -  Hog Mountain Road - in same building as PharmD on Demand -- 11-1 - this store will also stock a few books after the signing. 

If you preordered a book from me, you can pick them up at the signings or from my house. All preorders are at the $14.99 (plus tax) rate. After 12/12, price goes up (through me as well as on Amazon)
Payment - you can use PayPal (please use transfer to friends and family option) - chamfam@bellsouth.net or mail me a check to 1011 Broadlands Drive/30677. Books ordered before 12/12 are $16.04 including tax - after 12/12 it will be $20 total.
For you out of the Athens/Watkinsville area, I am happy to ship it to you - add $6 for  1-2 books and $8 for 3-4

Please please please do not feel ANY pressure to get a book or to come to the signings (but I'd love for you to support these local businesses and to stop by for a hug...) I just sent this out to the group instead of responding to several individual emails and because y'all have been kind enough to encourage me in this book thing. I still can't believe it.

Living Letters is a book!

Dear Blog Friends,


Guess what!!!! I wrote a book!  I have been pretty absent from blog world so I could get this project done and here it is!  It's a year long devotional (5 days a week only - I always need a couple of days to catch up and thought other folks would, too!).  I have had an absolute blast putting it together and I'd love for you to join me in reading through it this year.  My prayer is that it will help other women fall more in love with Jesus and His Word as they immerse themselves in His riches. 


It's available in Kindle format for you digital gals and also in print version for those of us who love the feel of turning pages.  If you want to order the print book from me, you can do that by emailing me at chamfam@bellsouth.net   You can pick it up to save shipping costs or I can mail it to you, just like Amazon does.  


https://www.amazon.com/Living-Letters-Daily-Devotional-Women-ebook/dp/B01NB81TQ4/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1480277588&sr=1-2&keywords=living+letters




If you're in the Athens/Watkinsville area, I plan to have a book signing in December (isn't that a hoot??? )  I'll put the details on here once they are confirmed and I'd more than love it if you'd come by and give me a hug, whether you get a book or not!


Many thanks to so many of you who encouraged me to do this, praying for me, giving me ideas, and showering me with love.  You are truly the best.  And more than a huge shoutout to two women who made this project possible - Tricia Bauman and Mandy Rice.  Priceless treasures does not even begin to describe you both.  Thank you!!!


Check out the link - and Merry Christmas, sisters


!https://www.amazon.com/Living-Letters-Daily-Devotional-Women-ebook/dp/B01NB81TQ4/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1480277588&sr=1-2&keywords=living+letters

Lives Matter

I don't often go public with posts that I think will offend or upset a particular segment of the population.  While I'd like to think I am being wise and loving, it is more likely that I am just chicken.


But today I will step out.  And what I am posting will probably offend every segment of the US population.


Here's what I want to say:


ALL LIVES MATTER


Our country continues to experience heartbreaking violence that appears to be targeted at certain populations:  black, LGBT, law enforcement, non-Muslims to name just a few of the more recent.  Each time, we recoil in horror and kneejerk to all sorts of options as solutions.


Let me quote Ben Watson here - after the tragedy in Missouri, he said it best: We don't have a SKIN problem, we have a SIN problem.


As long as we attempt to segregate the problem according to ethnicity or religion or sexual orientation, we cannot solve it.  As long as we condone actions as "reactions to hate or discrimination" we cannot stop the violence or the hate.  As long as we pin our hopes on things like politically correct speech or gun control, we will end up hopeless.  As long as we stick our heads in the sand and say "I'm not the problem - someone else is", we will make the problem worse.  As long as we distance ourselves from the issues, blame "the other side" and figure they will have to change first, change will never come.


 I am as angry as anybody that these things are happening. Against whoever is perpetrating them - radical Muslims, prejudiced police officers,  misguided young African-Americans, or abortionists.  ALL lives matter.  Every single one.  We Americans have come to a tragic place in our history where we value our own political views, or convenience or religion or preference more than a person's life.


And this is abhorrently, categorically wrong.


ALL LIVES MATTER


We cannot solve the problem by abdicating personal responsibility.
We cannot undo the wrongs of the past by exacting vengeance on those in the present.
We cannot erase prejudice by continuing to prejudge others and punish those we see as enemies.
We cannot stop violence by taking away tools of violence.
We cannot erase hatred by reacting with our own anger towards some we hold responsible.
We cannot demand that others spread love when we insist on retaining our own selfish views.


ALL LIVES MATTER


We are in this place of hatred and violence because we do not hold fast to the truth that all lives matter regardless of political views or occupation.  Regardless of skin color or religious beliefs.  Regardless of sexual preferences or age.  All lives matter because God gives life.  And every single person to whom He gives life  matters.  Every single one.


Because every single person is created in His image.  It doesn't matter the circumstances or actions of that life - every single person should be treated with dignity and compassion and respect .And every life should be valued.  No, I am not saying wrong-doing should not be punished.  Nor am I clamoring for "tolerance" or universal agreement on controversial issues.  But I am saying that every single person should be viewed as valuable.  Regardless of the sacrifice of our own convenience, political ideals or religious convictions. 


ALL LIVES MATTER


I do not have a three step solution.  I do not know how to fix this.  Honestly, it feels like we are in a state of anarchy.  Hopelessness.  Tragic and terrifying tumult.

All I can offer is that we each one examine our own hearts.  Is there prejudice there?  Of any kind? Do we dislike, distrust, dis-value any group of people?
If we find any wrong there, then let us each one address our own issues.  Let us each one confess that sin and realize that we all are capable of the most egregious of sins.  Apart from the grace of God, every single one of us could be pulling the trigger in any one of these situations.


And after searching our own souls for hatred towards any one, let us resolve to reject it completely.  Let us refuse to harbor resentment and distrust.  We do not have to agree with someone on how to vote or how to live our lives but we do need to agree that


ALL LIVES MATTER


and then resolve to protect ALL LIVES.


And then we have to throw ourselves on the mercy of God, praying : May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope (Romans 15:13)