I want to begin this week’s weapon against depression/anxiety with a couple of passages and link them together. First, from the book of James. At first read, it might not be apparent how it relates to anxiety…because it’s about anger. But read on, sisters, read on….What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. James 4:1-3 and then a bit from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians: (4:26,27) Be angry and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not give the devil an opportunity.
The fights among us................are due to the battles within us..........the conflict on the outside........is because of the war on the inside. The battle that ensues when we don’t get what we want. And think we deserve. That battle, if left unchecked, becomes disappointment - then anger- that we didn’t get what we wanted (and believe we deserve). That battle is usually directed at other people that we attribute the failure to and, if not dealt with in a reasonable period of time (about 24 hours - that is what the “sun going down” refers to), turns into anger which gives the Enemy of our souls an opportunity to do some damage to us. That anger can show up as rage or bitterness…and when left alone, becomes depression. Anxiety. Seemingly unconnected to being angry and yet it is. A root of anger. Anger over not getting what we want or think we deserve. In other words, failed expectations.
So what are we to do with these failed expectations? This disappointment that has become anger which has turned on us and become depression?
These "passions, pleasures or desires" are not necessarily for bad things! We might long for a well-behaved child, or a loving husband, or a good night's sleep :) And if those desires (which we all too often label as "needs".....) are unmet, then we fight, quarrel, or get angry (which, by the way, Jesus explains in Matthew leads to murder).
Underneath our "desires" are foundational longings for security, acceptance, significance, love. What we might label as "wanting to be pretty" could actually be a deep God-given need for acceptance and esteem. And it probably is.
It's not wrong to want to look pretty ( or be treated respectfully or to be appreciated or to feel safe) but when we assume we can find a consistent source of attainment apart from Christ, well, that's when we run into trouble. No other person can meet those needs deeply enough to satisfy us fully.
No matter how much we might fight to get them to.
God stands ready and overwhelmingly able to meet our deepest needs.
Instead, we either fail to ask Him or we ask for the wrong thing.
Like asking for friends to make us feel better..........when He's the only one who can.
Now, granted, often He manifests Himself through the kindnesses of others. But we gotta realize that other people are just the delivery boy. God Himself is the Source for what we need.
And rest assured, the Enemy is looking for any opportunity to gain a foothold in our hearts by having us expect people or circumstances to meet the deepest needs of our souls.
Galatians 5:17 puts it this way : For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
When we think someone or something other than God can fill our need for security or significance or acceptance, in essence, we are seeking to worship it. And God loves us too much to allow that! He doesn't need to be "made Lord" - He IS LORD! And all those lesser things that try and set themselves up on the throne of our heart are waging a useless war. HE IS LORD. He will let the battle rage but He will not step down from the Throne.
If we can be open to the possibility that depression could actually be anger turned inwards and is rooted in unmet expectations (whether those expectations are reasonable or not!), then we can begin to dissolve what can feel like an insurmountable fortress within our souls. We can begin to identify what the longings are within us and expose how they may be misdirected.
AND (this is BIG AND!) what we perceive as “failed expectations” usually lead us to a failure of ourselves - a failure to give thanks. When we are depressed or anxious, gratitude is the last thing on our minds. And there are serious - very serious- consequences to a life that fails to be grateful. God tells us in Romans 1:21 - For although they knew God, they did not honor Him as God OR GIVE THANKS to Him, and they became futile in their thinking and their foolish hearts were darkened
GULP
Serious consequences indeed. Thinking we deserve better than what we got and failing to give thanks for what we have is a recipe for darkness. Indeed.
SO what’s the solution?
Seeing the goodness of God. Asking Him to open our eyes to His gifts. Thanking Him for His goodness. AND trusting that He is always good, always faithful, always loving. Even when our eyes can’t see it.