Happy Birthday, Mary - Letter # 2

Psalme 127:3 proclaims "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord,The fruit of the womb is a reward."

21 years ago tomorrow, God - with abundant lovingkindness - sent our family a gift, a reward:  Mary Suzanne Chambers was born.  In typical Mary fashion - 10 days early, late at night, just a little slender bundle slipping into the world.  I was so happy to make you my namesake and to share a birthday month with you. 

How to describe this gift from the Lord?  The first word that comes to mind is beautiful.  Breathtakingly so.  When you were a baby, complete strangers would stop me to comment on your beauty.  Cherubic little face.  Bouncing black curls.  The light in your eyes.  And that smile.  That smile started early.  Even through the pre-braces years when the overbite tempted you to hide it, Daddy nurtured your confidence in that smile.  "Smile, Buddy," he would say, "I love your smile."

The next word I would choose is zest. Not the soap - the vibrancy, the seasoning, the fervor.  Always ready for adventure and excitement.  If you have any fear at all, it's of being bored!  Your energy is contagious - when you are in a room, the whole place lights up.  Yep, "zest" fits you well. Sometimes your zest outkicks your comfort zone but that's not always a bad thing.  Which brings me to the next word -

Resilence.  Of all of us, you are the best at this.  When things begin to not work out so well, you not only have the backup plan in mind, you have already set it in motion.  You don't languish in defeat or self- pity - you move on.  You get over it.  Rub off on me, please.  What an enviable quality, one we all want to emulate.  Which segues into the next word...

Influence.  True leadership.  The ability to effect voluntary behavior change in other people.  From fashion to fun to faith - you are a leader of other people.  People just naturally like you and admire you and want to be like you.

Mary, you are a wonderful sister.  Little and big.  One of the many reasons I am so thankful you are ours is because of the role you play in the lives of your siblings.  From "sister secrets" with Katie to nurturing Betsy to encouraging Chip's journey as the lone brother in this clan, you are a fabulous sister.  OK, there have been some dubious moments like the lure for Lemonheads under the bed and your penchant for wanting to feel "cool and free" when the pastor was over for dinner.  Help.  Can't breathe.

And you are a genuine blessing as a daughter.  I love that we are alike enough to empathize with one another (and call one another out as needed!) and yet UNalike enough so that I can enjoy and admire those qualities in you that I aspire to.

Happy 21st, dear daughter. May "the generation to come set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God and keep His commandments. "Psalm 78:6,7 Remember Psalm 84:11 always.  And Joshua 1:9 "The Lord your God is with you wherever you go".  I love you.

12 feet under

Ask my kids where I am the happiest and they will tell you "12 feet under".  Now that's not a reference to being so dead that I am buried twice the normal 6 feet.  Nor is it a lament on my insurmountable to do list. Nope, 12 feet under means all my offspring are home and gathered round to make "12 feet under my dining room table."  Everybody home.  What a great feeling to this Mommy-heart.

While they were all growing up, and there were 8 feet underneath my own most of the time, I didn't really spend much time pondering the merit of "everybody home". They always were!  Truth be told, I probably spent some time wondering if MY two feet could leave these others here alone!! Even during those years of constant demands and busy-ness, though, my happiest times have always been when my whole family was under the same roof.  (OK I do have to include that we all need to be liking each other for my happiness to be complete.  Anybody know what I mean???) But together.  All of us.  Happy times.

When my oldest left for college, this longing for us to all be together became acute.  Nobody had told me what it felt like for bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh to get her mail at a different address.  That was probably a good thing cuz I probably would have tried hard to convince her that God's will for her was to stay at home until He returned.(Now don't any of you scoff at my grief, knowing that she was only relocating a mere 15 minutes away.  It was still farther than just up the stairs, where she had been for 17 years! ).  I knew it was supposed to be this way.  I knew the point of raising children is to raise AN ADULT.  One that becomes independent and self-sustaining and all that stuff. However,  I also knew that she was really leaving and my family would never be the same and I liked it just the way it was, thank you very much.  But leave, she did.  And she thrived.  Made me so proud of how she turned out, I busted buttons.  Then the next one left and did the same thing.  I alternated between grief and supreme joy at watching my two oldest children turn into adults.  (Amazing ones, in fact.  Turns out their grandparents were right!!)  I truly am thrilled that these letters I helped write are being read and loved and admired in places beyond my dining room table.  I see the unmistakable evidence that God has graciously and generously answered my prayers for their lives.  And, true to His nature, He does above and beyond what I have asked and imagined.  Gives me confidence that the last two letters will experience the same when they take flight.

Yet none of that joy changes the fact that my heart still longs for them all to be home.  I'm OK with the fact that it won't be all the time.  (In fact, I can even manage a smile that one day it'll be only the same 4 feet that started all this crazy stuff! We're gonna have some fun, just us!!)  But those times that we are all here ....and liking each other.....well, that's truly a taste of Heaven for me.  I cook as many favorites of each person that I can fit in.  (We spell "LOVE" - "F-O-O-D", how bout you?) I just want them here so I can love on them.  Feed them.  Serve them.  Just be with them.  I don't need to do anything special, I just want to sit back and watch them.  Interacting with each other.  Laughing.  Sharing.  Yes, teasing.  Eating. Remembering.  Planning.  Belonging.  Loving.  12 feet under.

And now we've added more feet.  Happiness for me is now 16 feet under. Had it this past weekend.  Katie here, bringing with her two big feet and the cutest two little feet ever. Mary here.  Joining Chip and Betsy and Paul and me here. Heavenly togetherness.  A new table is on my wish list!

Just one thought before I close.  Lest you think I am hopelessly sappy, let me tell you that I got this longing from Jesus.  His heart's desire is for those that are His to be with Him. Check out John 17:24 where Jesus is pouring out His heart to His Father.  In this prayer, Jesus asks God to protect us and strengthen us and keep us holy.  He prays for our mission, our transformation, and our pursuit of the Father.  And, after asking all these things for us, He asks for something for Himself.  He tells His Father that He wants us all together.  You and me and the Son and the Father.  Together.  Forever.  Just so we can experience the glory of the Father, the love of the Son.  Wow.  What an awesome dining room table that's gonna be!

Originally posted on March 3, 2013

Post script

Several "letters to the editor" suggest additional descriptions of Katie that are too important to omit.  I could have gone on and on about her in the first letter but tried to restrain myself.  Still, these two need to be added.

Loyal and capable. Oh yes.  If Katie is your friend, it will be to her dying day.  She will support you and defend you and enjoy you forever.  (Conversely, if you have earned her distrust, it takes an awful lot to move you off the "naughty list".  Just warning...)  And capable.  Oh my, this kid is capable.  She does all things well and makes it look easy. Our family says that Katie has the Midas touch. She succeeds at everything. She's my hero.  Seriously.  If she would just move closer, we could hang out more and increase the chances of her rubbing off on me.

Thank you to those folks who added these descriptions.  You cannot imagine how it blesses a Mama's heart to know other people love your child!

One last note.  I got a couple of playful jabs and eyerolls at my unabashedly bragging on my kids.  Understood.  But, in my defense, "bragging" would imply that I take some credit.  I don't.  I am just thankful.  And, my example is my Heavenly Father, who publicly expressed His love and pride in His Son.  "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased".  So, please know my heart.  I just want to affirm my children for who they are and instill in them the assurance of my forever love. 

Now if I just had some doves at my disposal.....

First letter

As I wrote "Just some things we must tell the children", another whisper came to me.  These life lessons that I want to impart are important.  And I want to be sure my kids get them.  But there are things just as important that I need to communicate to them.  Maybe even more so. Things like how much I love them.  How incredible I think they are.  And how blessed I am to be their Mom.  All four are really  amazing and fabulous gifts.  And I want the world to know them, too.

So I'll start with my first letter.  Katie Alice.  My firstborn.  The one who made me a Mother.  Named for my grandmother and my Mom - two of the most significant people in my world.  How fitting that those names mean "pure" and "truth"...two incredibly accurate desriptions of my Katie.

How would I describe my Katie to someone who didn't know her?  Wow.  If only words could convey who she is and how I feel about her!  But here's a try.

First, gorgeous.  From an early age, her Daddy taught her to say "My Daddy says I'm gaaaawjush".  And "gaaawjush" she continues to be.  Deep brown eyes, the size of dinner plates.  Silky smooth hair that defies the existence of "bad hair day".  Show-stopping gorgeous from the very beginning.

As enviably as her beauty is, her mind and her heart far exceed it. Many girls don't like to be described as intelligent but Katie embraces the fact that God has given her an incredibly bright mind and she uses it to glorify Him.  She has always been inquisitive, loving to learn, and able to do so quickly.  I so wish I could take the credit that people try to give me for her rapid course through homeschooling....but she and I both know that she was pretty much self-taught.  I was too busy with Bonus Baby Betsy to help any of my other kids!

Trustworthy. This kid is 100% trustworthy.  She has never been able to lie - a trait that made my parenting her much easier! I trust not only her truth-telling but also her counsel and her judgment.  I frequently go to her for advice and insight. She is wise, really truly wise.  And thoughtful and thorough.  Her choice of career in the medical field is a perfect fit.  And in her role as a wife and a Mom, well, she's more than perfect.  Seriously.

Kind-hearted.  In no way would I imply that Katie is a pushover.  Uh, no not at all.  But she has a kindness, a consideration towards others, a thoughtfulness that sets her apart.  Especially towards those the world doesn't value.  The least of these.  She's never been one to be impressed by "the beautiful people".  Instead she intuitively chooses those with a beaufiful spirit or those that have the deepest need.

Kind-hearted, yes, but also feisty when the situation calls for it!  Ever ready to come to the defense of a sibling (maaaaaaybe a little too quick sometimes....but that's another story!).  Stubbornly standing her ground on issues of doctrine or weighty matters like football strategy.  Competitive...almost to a fault.  Kind of had to coach her up that we don't always want to beat the boys in everything.....just sayin.....

My Katie.  Well, she's pretty much perfect.  Mary Poppins would envy her.  I am glad she's mine.  I hope you get to know her.  You will be blessed.

I'll get to those other letters soon.  And you will know that I am blessed.  Incredibly, abundantly blessed.  And thankful.  Very thankful.

The beginning of Living Letters

I have always wanted to write a book.I didn't have The Great American Novel in mind, just a book. Something inspirational. Or life-coaching sort of thing. Maybe I thought it would be cool to see my name in print. Or maybe I wanted to polish my autographing skills. But mainly I think it's cuz I have so much to say! I am not an expert on anything but that never stops me from having an opinion. On most everything. I never could understand how someone could NOT have an opinion! (Right about now you are expressing sympathy for my husband. Duly noted) A few years ago, it dawned on me that I was probably never going to write that book. I was whining to myself about that fact and trying to use the excuse of being a busy Mom of 4. A busy wife of a busy husband. A Bible study writer/teacher. On and on ad nauseum. (I chose to ignore those amazing women that can do all I do and more....and still publish books by the truckload.) So anyway, in my state of complaining and denial, I took it up with my Boss. And He had the coolest answer. He told me that I was writing a book already! In fact, 4 books. They were not completed but were already published as works in progress. Being read widely. And, although editing is continuous, the reviews are favorable. Yeah, I may never write a book that is available on your Kindle, but make no mistake - I am an author. The apostle Paul shares my confirmation in 2 Corinthians3:2-6 "You are our letter(s), written in our hearts, known and read by all men, being manifested that you are a letter of Christ, cared for by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone, but on tablets of human hearts, and such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves but our adequacy is from God." I am a contributing editor to the Katie book, the Mary book, the Chip book, and the Betsy book. And my heart hopes that I have written some lines in the lives of some other folks! Lately, I have been bitten by the blog-bug. I have joined the flood of folks that just have to get their thoughts in print, one way or the other. In spite of my cyber-illiteracy (that's what children are for, right?), I plan to use this forum to share my heart, my thoughts and ideas about "Living Letters", writing into the lives of others. So, if you are a woman and you want to write on hearts, come join me. Share your story. And let's write living letters together!